Bald Man Jokes

Why do bald men cut holes in there pockets?

To run their hands through their hair

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What does a balding man and a tortoise have in common?

Hare loss.

What did the bald man say when he got a comb for Christmas?

Thanks, I'll never part with it."

What did the bald man say when he got a comb as a gift?

I'll never part with this!

Why is it so hard to get a comb from a bald man?

Because they never part with them

Why did the bald man go outside ?

To get some fresh hair !

Why did the bald man draw rabbits all over his head?

From a distance they look like hares!

Who never gets his hair wet in the shower?

A bald man.

Why did the bald man put a rabbit on his head?

Because he wanted a head of hare (hair).

Why did the bald man draw rabbits on his head?

A: Because from a distance they looked like hares.

Why wouldn't the bald man let anyone use his comb?

A: He couldn't part with it.

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What did the bald man exclaim when he received a comb for a present?

Gee, I'll never part with it!

Why did the bald man cut a hole in his pocket?

He wanted to run his fingers through his hair.

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Bald Jokes More Bald Jokes

What did the court jester call the balding crown prince?

The Heir Apparent with no Hair Apparent.

Why do the bald seem to handle life so much better than the rest?

They're always eager for more on their pate.

Draw Jokes More Draw Jokes

Why did the snail draw an "S" on the side of his car?

So that when he drove by people could say, "Look at that escargot!"

Why are there no hand paintings from the old west?

Because they could only draw guns.

Let Jokes More Let Jokes

What did the man say when the lobster gave him food poisoning?

I'm not letting you cook dinner again

What did the American WWI vet say to the angry German veteran?

Can't we just let Argonne's be Argonne's?

Arrest Jokes More Arrest Jokes

Why was the man arrested for having his skin flute played?

It was in A-minor

Why did the police arrest the sidewalk sidewalk?

It always had some sort of weed on it!

Distance Jokes More Distance Jokes

Why do you hold your hand flat above your eyes when you look into the distance?

Because when you would cover your eyes with your hand, you wouldn't see sh*t. I'm lame.

Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head?

Because from a distance, they looked like hare.

Rabbit Jokes More Rabbit Jokes

Why did the bald man draw rabbits on his head?

A: Because from a distance they looked like hares.

How did the close race between the rabbit and the tortoise end?

It was won by a hare!

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why does Waldo wear stripes?

Because he doesn't want to be spotted

Why did Julius Caesar buy crayons ?

He wanted Mark Antony !

Cut Jokes More Cut Jokes

What do dwarves use to cut their pizza?

Little Caesars

What happened when Santa cut his beard?

The police came and took statements but ultimately Mrs. Claus declined to press charges. OC