Butcher Jokes

Whats the difference between a goat and a kid?

I stopped butchering goats.

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Why did the butcher get fired?

For bringing home the bacon.

Why was the Butcher depressed?

Because his life was in shambles.

How does a butcher introduce his wife to his friends?

Meet Patty"

What did Batman say when he went to the butcher?

Got Ham?

What is it that you do?

He: "I'm a butcher."

What did the butcher say when he handed his customer an empty pack of hotdogs on halloween?

Happy halloweenie

Why did the butcher die ?

Because he chopped off the wrong sausage.

What do you call it when you accidentally butcher your heifer instead of your steer?

A Ms. Steak.

Who's there ! Butcher ! Butcher who ?

Butcher your arms around me !

Who does the butcher look forward to seeing after a tough day at work?

His loving knife.

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Why do butchers avoid buying cattle from Colorado?

Because the steaks are too high.

Why do Butchers don't risk it all in life?

Because the Steaks are too high.

What did the butcher say to the cow?

I love you for your inner beauty.

Why did the butcher work extra hours at the shop?

To make ends meat.

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Because they can't stop shooting themselves in the foot.

How do you stop a Lion from charging?

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Patty O'furniture.

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What's the difference between tuna, a piano, and a pot of glue?

You can tune a piano, but you can't piano a tuna!

What's the difference between a blonde and a phone booth?

A1: You need a quarter to use the phone.

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What did storm say when she saw wolverine chopping wood?

That's a huge axe man!

What's the difference between an onion and an accordion?

A: No-one cries when you chop up an accordion.

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What is a proper greeting when you're introduced to Christina Hendricks?

Nice to meet you both.

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What do you do when a box kotex catches on fire?

throw it on the ground and tampon it.

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Fire in the hole!