Butcher Jokes

Whats the difference between a goat and a kid?

I stopped butchering goats.

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Why did the butcher get fired?

For bringing home the bacon.

Why was the Butcher depressed?

Because his life was in shambles.

How does a butcher introduce his wife to his friends?

Meet Patty"

What did Batman say when he went to the butcher?

Got Ham?

What is it that you do?

He: "I'm a butcher."

What did the butcher say when he handed his customer an empty pack of hotdogs on halloween?

Happy halloweenie

Why did the butcher die ?

Because he chopped off the wrong sausage.

What do you call it when you accidentally butcher your heifer instead of your steer?

A Ms. Steak.

Who's there ! Butcher ! Butcher who ?

Butcher your arms around me !

Who does the butcher look forward to seeing after a tough day at work?

His loving knife.

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Why do butchers avoid buying cattle from Colorado?

Because the steaks are too high.

Why do Butchers don't risk it all in life?

Because the Steaks are too high.

What did the butcher say to the cow?

I love you for your inner beauty.

Why did the butcher work extra hours at the shop?

To make ends meat.

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Ask him to take wok.

Why was the kitten fired from his telemarketing job?

For Catcalling

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What do goats do on election day?

Voat. co

What did the turkey say to the goat?

The turkey said gobble, gobble, gobble. The goat said back abdul akbar before blowing up.

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What kind of tea do you pay an arm and a leg for?

Amputee

How much does automail cost?

An arm and a leg.

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What did the surgeon say when the doctor declined going out after work?

Suture self!

Who, me?

Oh, just living the dream. You know, that one where you forget to wear clothes to work.

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What do mad cow disease and PMS have in common?

Angry heifers.

What do you call it when you accidentally butcher your heifer instead of your steer?

A Ms. Steak.

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How many men does it take to open a can of beer?

None. She should have opened it as she brought it to you.

Why did the vulture get kicked off the flight?

He brought the wrong carrion.

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How do bulls drive their cars?

They steer them!

What do you call it when you accidentally butcher your heifer instead of your steer?

A Ms. Steak.

Rip Jokes More Rip Jokes

How did the farmer feel after he ripped his clothing?

Let's just say he felt overall sadness.

What do you call an Arab who has a ripped body??

Osama Bin Liftin