Consider Jokes

What's the main thing a woman needs to think about when considering a potential boyfriend?

Is this the man I want my kids to spend every second weekend with?

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Why is camping considered an intense sport?

Because it's intense

How do you guys think the Germans will do in the Olympics this year?

Not too well considering they can't finish a race.

Why did the DJ consider himself to be a part of the LGBTQ community?

Because he was transitioning.

Why is it considered socially wrong to make fun of a crying 10-year old boy in Africa?

Because it's normal to undergo a midlife crisis.

What's the difference between a catholic and and a catoholic?

One is devoted to following to rules laid down by those who consider their will that of the divine. The other is a type of christian.

Why are the Irish considered lucky?

It's because they're always drunk as hell.

Why do most chicken coups have 2 doors?

Because if they had 4 doors, it'd be considered a chicken sedan!

Why does the German dad scare all the other kids?

Because he is ein Brtiger! The shirt should say it all. And I'm considering getting one.

Why did no one ever consider Tony Stark (the Iron Man) a protagonist?

Because he was always cited as the Anthony hero.

What political ideology does Hades consider himself to be apart of?

Plutocracy

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What do Jesus and a nerd have in common?

Both are long-haired, live at their parents' till their 30's, and if they'll do anything, it is considered a miracle.

Why were there no black people in the Flintstones?

Because they were still considered monkeys.

Where is the only place engineers are considered artistic?

Brooklyn

Why were the ancient Greeks considered so brave on the battlefield?

They didn't want to leave their brothers behind.

Why is Halloween considered the scariest time of the year?

Most weddings happen in June.

Why shouldn't you lend a anthropologist money?

They consider a million years ago to be Recent.

What do most men consider a gourmet restaurant?

Any place without a drive-up window.

What's considered an homemade gift in China?

An IPhone.

Why was the chemist not able to get very far in his study of acids?

He was only willing to consider the most basic of solutions.

Why is Rene Descartes considered a thinker?

Because he is.

Why was William considered a enemy?

Because, His last name was Dafoe

Why do we keep putting criminals behind bars?

putting criminals behind bars seems like a bad idea once you consider all the alcohol they're now next to

Why wasn't the man considered attractive?

The laws of gravity didn't apply to him.

Why are pharmaceutical chemists considered such studs?

They're able to make a fun-gal cream.

Who do you think the scariest POTUS was?

I'd have to say Rushmore, considering he had four heads.

What does a man consider to be a seven course meal?

A hot dog and a six pack.

Why was King Tutenkhamen considered the best pharaoh in all of Egypt?

A: Because he always showed up in cuneiform.

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Dj Jokes More Dj Jokes

Why did the DJ get fired as a waiter?

Because he'd drop everything

Why did the DJ have such small hands?

Wee paws for station identification.

Undergo Jokes More Undergo Jokes

Why did the Native American undergo cellular respiration?

To make A TP

Why is it considered socially wrong to make fun of a crying 10-year old boy in Africa?

Because it's normal to undergo a midlife crisis.

10 Year Old Jokes More 10 Year Old Jokes

How did Michael Jackson get food poisoning?

He ate a 10 year old wiener.

Why is it considered socially wrong to make fun of a crying 10-year old boy in Africa?

Because it's normal to undergo a midlife crisis.

Africa Jokes More Africa Jokes

What do you call a Five Guys restaurant in Africa?

3 Guys

How do parents in Africa celebrate their kid's first birthday?

They bring flowers to his grave.

Hell Jokes More Hell Jokes

What's a orphans first words?

I don't know. But it sure as hell isn't mommy or daddy.

What does a redneck and yeast have in common?

They are both "in-bread" Downvote me to hell if you want. This is my only joke.

Spend Jokes More Spend Jokes

What does a dyslexic,agnostic and insomniac spend most of his time doing?

Staying up all night thinking if there really is a dog

What does a dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac spend most of his time doing?

Staying up all night wondering if there really is a dog.

2 Jokes More 2 Jokes

Why is does a chicken coop have 2 doors?

Because if it had 4 doors it'd be called a chicken sedan. (better if saying it out loud because of the spelling of coop/coupe) -

What do you call 2 White Russians and a Jager bomb?

A Boston Marathon.

Cry Jokes More Cry Jokes

What's big, bounces, and makes little kids cry?

My donation check to the orphanage.

How could you do this to me?

she cried. I responded, "Well, I can't. That's why I'm doing it to her."