Contract Jokes

What do you call an STD that is contracted in your ear?

Hearing AIDS

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

How do blind people sign contracts?

On the dotted line.

Why do the lawyers for the reindeer say they have to pull Santa's sled?

Because they have a claus in their contract.

What deadly disease can bowls contract?

Ebowla

Why shouldn't you enter into a contract with Wolverine?

Because of his retractable clause.

What did the Hollywood producer say to the Apes in the zoo when they refused to sign contracts to appear in his new film?

Stop playing it cagey!

What disease is most easily contracted by touching your hands together?

The clap.

What do you call an actor from Alabama that is forced by contract to play a certain character in a production?

Role tied.

You might also enjoy:

Zoo Jokes More Zoo Jokes

Which Greek God loved to collect animals?

Zoos

Who do you think was sent to cover the story of the baby lion born in the zoo?

A cub reporter.

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

Why didn't anyone hear Helen Keller fall off a cliff?

She had mittens on.

What do you hear when a sheep blows up?

Sis boom baa Carnac

Bowl Jokes More Bowl Jokes

How do you get 100 babies into a bowl?

A blender. How do you get them out Tortilla chips

What do you give to an owl who is not being himself?

A Bowl (B-Owl)

Appear Jokes More Appear Jokes

What did Jesus want when he appeared on a piece of toast?

Miracle whip.

Why doesn't ISIS appear in any Sci-Fi shows or movies?

because they are set in the future.

Book Jokes More Book Jokes

Why did the Native American feel so reluctant about booking a hotel room?

He had his reservations.

What book did the rabbit take on vacation?

One with a hoppy ending.

Ape Jokes More Ape Jokes

Why do Apes like tall buildings?

They want to climb the heights of the business world!

What do you call an Ape cooking a BBQ?

A Gorilla

Charlie Sheen Jokes More Charlie Sheen Jokes

What's the difference between the Notre Dame Fighting Irish and Charlie Sheen?

Charlie Sheen's winning.

Why can't Charlie Sheen finish the alphabet?

Because when he gets to 'P' it burns.

Sign Jokes More Sign Jokes

How do blind people sign contracts?

On the dotted line.

What did the sign in the Egyptian funeral home say?

Satisfaction guaranteed or double your mummy back"