Guitar Jokes

Why won't Jonas Bjerre, Johan Wohlert nor Silas Utke Graae Jrgensen use guitars?

Because guitars make music.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

How does a lawyer from Panama play his guitar?

He shreds.

How do you stop Carlos Santana from molesting your children?

You put a guitar in his hands.

Why is there so much "twang" in Country music?

It is the sound a guitar makes after six or seven generations of inbreeding.

What do you call a guitar that has completely changed parts?

Trans-Fender.

What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?

You can tune a guitar but you can't tuna fish.

What's the difference between my guitar and my girlfriend?

My guitar doesn't yell at me when I snap it's g-string

What did the guitars do when they were unhappy with their government?

Formed a coustic d'tat

What do a guitar and a drum have in common?

Neither of them are a clarinet!

Why do guitar amps hum?

Because they don't know the words.

What's the difference between a guitar and an elevator?

I didn't expose myself inside a guitar this morning.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What does former Vice President Gore play on the guitar?

An algorithm

What do you call a cow that plays the guitar?

A Moosician!

What did Al Gore play on his guitar?

An algorithm.

What's the fastest way to make money as a guitarist?

By selling your guitar.

Why did the guitarist leave his guitar on the ground?

It didn't have any pickups

What if you get mugged?

So just to be safe, I took his guitar.

Who.. Plays The Guitar.. Boy: How Do i play the guitar ?

Girls: You Should be on TV for your talent. Boy: Am i so good ..... Boy : if you were on TV, i can atleast switch it off...

How does a dog play Hendrix on guitar?

With a chihuahua pedal.

Why did Silly Sue throw her guitar away ?

Because it had a hole in the middle.

What kind of guitar did the pool player own?

A: A-cue-stick.

What did the guitar and banjo name their daughter?

Amanda Lynn

What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?

You can tune a guitar but you can't "tuna"fish!

You might also enjoy:

Talent Jokes More Talent Jokes

Who.. Plays The Guitar.. Boy: How Do i play the guitar ?

Girls: You Should be on TV for your talent. Boy: Am i so good ..... Boy : if you were on TV, i can atleast switch it off...

Why did the Dino Dance Team fail the Talent Show?

They were all Nervous-Rex

Play Jokes More Play Jokes

What do Mexicans play at their funerals?

Another Juan Bites The Dust

How do porcupines play leapfrog?

Very carefully

Child Jokes More Child Jokes

What is another word for children who haven't learned how to do math?

yesallwomen

What's the difference between your child and your husband?

At least you can leave your child alone with the babysit

Lawyer Jokes More Lawyer Jokes

What is the ideal weight of a lawyer?

About three pounds, including the urn.

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer?

We're both lawyers.

Morning Jokes More Morning Jokes

Why did the drill instructor squirt condiments on his trainees in the morning?

That's how he mustard the troops.

Why don't Deputy Fire Marshals look out the window in the morning?

A: So they have something to do in the afternoon.

Gsus Jokes More Gsus Jokes

What is God's favorite guitar chord?

Gsus

Which chord is essential to every Christian song?

Gsus

Molest Jokes More Molest Jokes

How do you stop Carlos Santana from molesting your children?

You put a guitar in his hands.

How do you stop the neighbours kids from playing in your yard?

Molest them

Yell Jokes More Yell Jokes

How do you frighten a Bee?

Sneak up behind it and yell BOO BEE!

What do toilets yell when they ride roller coasters?

Weeeeeeeee!!!