Hertz Jokes

What did the monitor say when it got punched?

Ouch, that Hertz!"

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What did the Computer Processor say when it was overclocked?

It Hertz.

What is the problem with high frequency?

It Hertz

How does Avis feel to be #2?

It Hertz

What happens when you get hit by a rental car?

It Hertz.

How do you measure love?

In hertz!

What does an electric engineer say when they get kicked in the balls?

Owch! it hertz

What's the only painful car rental company?

Hertz.

What distance say when velocity fell on top of him?

Ow, this really hertz.

How do you measure pain?

In Hertz.

How does it feel to crash a rental car?

It Hertz.

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Your heart goes "pomme pomme ... pomme pomme ..."

What do Reptiles love to smoke?

Mariguana

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How long have you been in pain?

Women: It started at 7:45am on Monday while I was at work Men: Sometime between yesterday and 1997

What would Germans call a painfully offensive joke?

Ouchwitz &gtsay ouch when offended or in pain &gtWitz is the German word for joke &gtsounds like auschwitz

Ouch Jokes More Ouch Jokes

What did the T-Rex say when he stubbed his toe?

Ouch. I'm Dino-sore!"

What did the monitor say when it got punched?

Ouch, that Hertz!"

Measure Jokes More Measure Jokes

How do you measure a snake?

In inches. Snakes don't have any feet.

Why do we call rulers "Your Highness"?

because that's what they measure.

Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

How did the woman feel when she got run over by a car?

Tired.

How do you feel?

Asks the fluoride ion. "Positively shell shocked" the sodium ion replied.

Monitor Jokes More Monitor Jokes

Who has time to monitor followers/unfollowers?

I can barely keep track of my kids and I only have 1 of those. Wait. Two. I have 2 kids.

When The NSA is Monitoring Your Computer?

The power is on and you're connected to the internet.

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happened when Hamlet discovered his love dead?

Necro-Ophelia

What happened when the 26th letter of the alphabet hit puberty?

She got a Zebra.

Punch Jokes More Punch Jokes

What's the difference between a blonde and a computer?

You only have to punch information into a computer once.

When is it okay to punch a midget?

When he stands next to your girlfriend and says her hair smells nice.