Oppose Jokes

What do you call a world leader who white people are opposed to?

Vladimir Gluten

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What economic theory opposes manscaping?

Laissez-fur!

How do you tell if someone is opposed to GMOs?

Don't worry, they'll tell you.

What did the American Army General say after the first opposing casualty in the Mexican-American War?

Juan down, a million more to go.

How about a quickie?

Wife: As opposed to what

Why are families only allowed 1 child in China?

The government is opposed to euthanasia.

Why couldn't the Chinese geologist find a date?

He was vehemently opposed to wrong rocks on the beach.

Why are beekeepers opposed to keeping gorillas in captivity?

They're ape purists

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1 Jokes More 1 Jokes

How many feminists do you need to replace a lightbulb?

Only 1, she'll hold the bulb in place and wait while the world revolves around her.

What is the fluid capacity of Monica Lewinsky's mouth?

1 US Leader.

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

How many Syrians does it take to launch a missle?

Two. One to launch it, and one to watch CNN to find out where it landed.

Why was the girl stuck in the revolving door for two weeks?

cuz she couldn't find the door handle

Allow Jokes More Allow Jokes

Why isn't Sean Connery allowed to play Super Mario Bros. any more?

He kept trying to shave the princess.

Why is Jay-Z allowed to ride in the carpool lane by himself?

Because his name is Hov, OH, H-to-the-O-V

Gorilla Jokes More Gorilla Jokes

What's the difference between a small child and a gorilla?

People actually care if a gorilla dies.

What did the Gorilla say to his friend when he called him back on the phone?

You-Rang-a-Tang

Family Jokes More Family Jokes

Why did the cab driver did not get time for his family?

Because he was Uber busy.

Why did Chris Benoit quit wrestling?

He wanted to hang with his family.

World Leader Jokes More World Leader Jokes

What do you call a world leader who white people are opposed to?

Vladimir Gluten

Why didn't Santa give presents to any world leaders?

Because he thinks they're part of the illumi-naughty

Worry Jokes More Worry Jokes

How can you tell if someone is from Texas?

Oh don't worry , they'll tell you

How can you tell if someone is a marathon runner?

Don't worry, they'll let you know.

Juan Jokes More Juan Jokes

How many Mexicans does it take to replace a serviceable part of a complex machine?

Just Juan and Emmanuel.

What did one Mexican say to the other Mexican?

It's four-twenty Juan!