Ted Cruz Jokes

How do you speak to a deaf Ted Cruz?

Use zodiac signs

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Why do people take such an instant dislike to Ted Cruz ?

It saves so much time.

What do Ted Cruz and an impotent Japanese man have in common?

Neither can achieve an election

What did Ted Cruz's wife get after being elbowed by him?

A Ted Bruz

What do Ted Cruz and a tenage girl's bedroom have in common?

Credit to

What do you call a foreign born communist running for President?

Ted Cruz

What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Ted Cruz?

Heidi cannot swing a golf club.

Why are there no pictures of Ted Cruz holding a baby?

They always turn out blurry from him shaking them.

What's the difference between the Devil and Ted Cruz?

The Devil has standards.

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Golf Club Jokes More Golf Club Jokes

What's the best wood to make a golf club out of?

Taiga Wood

What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Ted Cruz?

Heidi cannot swing a golf club.

President Jokes More President Jokes

Why isn't the Vice President running for President this year?

Cuz he's Biden his time.

What one noun, verb, and US President sums up a scientist's hopes and fears?

Grant.

Picture Jokes More Picture Jokes

Why did the Buddhist photographer fail at taking pictures?

Bad cam'ra

How do you picture yourself flying on a broom?

A: By witchful thinking.

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

What did the Cherokee-Polish couple name their firstborn?

Running Stupid

Why did the ram run off the cliff?

He didn't see the ewe turn.

Election Jokes More Election Jokes

What do you call someone who lost an election by 2 million votes?

Mr. President.

What do Polish arctic researchers do at elections?

They have a polar pole poll.

Credit Jokes More Credit Jokes

What celebrity never payed with a cheque or credit?

Johnny Cash.

How can you tell the difference between a crocodile and an alligator?

One you'll see in a while, the other you'll see later. Credit to Mitch hedburg

Save Jokes More Save Jokes

How do you save a Republican from drowning?

Take your foot off of their head.

Why wasn't the son of God worried when Microsoft Word crashed while he was writing his term paper?

Because Jesus saves.

Deaf Jokes More Deaf Jokes

What do you call an Italian with no arms?

Deaf

What did the Blind, Deaf man get for Christmas?

Cancer