Cell Jokes

What did one cell say to his sister cell that stepped on his toe?

mitosis

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What's the difference between plants and black men?

Cells are found inside plants.

How many mitochondria does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, they're the powerhouse of the cell.

What did Bea Arthur whisper in her lover's ear?

An elaborate fantasy in which she is in prison and tries to escape by chewing through the bars of her cell.

What do you use to check your cell from across the room?

A telephono lens.

Why did all the prisoners at the AT&T jail escape?

Because they had no bars on their cells!

What did Kenny G say when he got off the elevator?

from Stephen King - The Cell)

What is the difference between a physicist and a biologist?

A physicist is atoms studying themselves, while a biologist is cells that study themselves.

What technique does a prisoner use when coloring a picture?

Cell shading.

What is commonly found in cells?

Apparently "black people" wasn't the correct answer.

What do you find in cells?

My Ans) Black People . . . I dont know why do they ask such weird questions in biology.

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Where's my cell?

Right there." That's not my phone. "Yes it is. I cleaned it!" My cell's white

What is most commonly found in cells?

Apparently "black people" was not the right answer

What is a Cell?

something you keep black people in

What did the magician say to the cell?

Might I conjure Ya

What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.

Where do you keep microscopic criminals?

In cells.

What do they call me in prison?

Mitochondria, cause I'm the powerhouse of the cell

What did the sheep obsessed convict say to Jared Fogle?

I have a footlong waiting for **ewe** back in my cell!!!!

What do cells say when their sister shoots their foot?

Mitosis

Why did all the prisoners at the AT&ampT jail escape?

Because they had no bars on their cells!

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Child Hospital Jokes More Child Hospital Jokes

Why wasn't Michael Jackson allowed to perform at the children's hospital?

Because he is dead. ((I came up with this joke when I was very tired.))

What's the difference between a terrorist cell and a children's hospital?

Don't ask me man, I just fly the drones.

Toe Jokes More Toe Jokes

What do you call a guy with a toe growing out of his knee?

Tony.

What did the college junior say just before her toe was cut off?

NO PLEASE DON'T CUT OFF MY TOE!

Sister Jokes More Sister Jokes

What do you call a sister who works for you?

Nun of your business.

How many walruses does it take to make a sandwich?

Don't be silly, walruses don't make sandwiches; women make sandwiches. Made this up to bug my sister. It worked. Her husband laughed.

Service Jokes More Service Jokes

When is the only time when No shirt no shorts no shoes gets you service?

If you're a surfer and you're getting head.

What did the burglar say to the lady who caught him stealing her silver?

I'm at your service ma'am.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What is the difference between Reddit and a fetish party?

You might actually get me to sub here.

What's the difference between a Scotsman and the Rolling Stones?

The Rolling Stones say 'hey you, get off my cloud.' the Scotsman says 'hey MaCleod, get off my ewe.'

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

What happens to the water level in the aquarium when one of the fish dies?

It rises because the rest of the fishes are crying :'(

What runs forever and never dies?

An argument with a woman! And I'm in one right now.

Martial Art Jokes More Martial Art Jokes

What do you call martial arts for cows?

Mooey Thai.

What kind of martial art does a chef do?

Kung food (Don't hurt me, I know it's bad)

Shirt Jokes More Shirt Jokes

Why did the scale not wear any of his shirts?

Because they all had a tare

Why don't Dunkin' Donuts employees wear name tags?

It wouldn't fit on their shirt.