Cod Jokes

What did the atheist fisherman say when asked about his catch?

There is no cod

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Why is CoD: Infinite Warfare set in space?

Because no one on earth wants to buy it.

Why should you never take a swordfish out to dinner?

Because you'll get stuck with the bill, and if you don't have money to pay the restaurant will call the cods on you. Fin.

What did the fisherman from Boston say to the magician?

Pick a cod, any cod!

What did the sick fish say when he got sick?

I've cod a cold."

Why is CoD like women?

Search and Destroy.

What did the fisherman say to the card magician?

A: Pick a cod, any cod!

What did the fisherman say to the magician?

Pick a cod, any cod!

What did the beaver say when he found out his new neighbour was a fish?

Cod dam

Knock Knock. Who's there? Cod! Cod who?

Cod red-handed !

What is the difference between a portuguese woman and a sea lion ?

One of them has shiny bodyhair and smells like cod, the other one is a mammal that lives in the sea.

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What did the fisherman say to the street magician?

Pick a cod, any cod!

What am I herring?

This scampi true! Whale I squid you not Oh cod I can't die Waterboat me You're so shellfish Fin

What do you call it when a soldier gets laid?

Tactical Insertion.* What do you call it when a COD player gets laid *Lies.*

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What did the boy say when he had trouble using glue?

I'm stuck.

Why are so many Italians named Tony?

Because when they immigrated from Italy, customs stuck a label on their lapel reading ToN.Y.

Portuguese Jokes More Portuguese Jokes

What is the difference between a portuguese woman and a sea lion ?

One of them has shiny bodyhair and smells like cod, the other one is a mammal that lives in the sea.

How many portuguese people can fit on a scooter?

A Brazilian

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Who's there ! Cam ! Cam who ?

Camalot is where King Arthur lived !

What did the Goat living in Manama say when it starting raining?

BAAAHH RAIN!"

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What's the most 'Spoken' language on Earth?

Hint: It's not English Spanish.

What is Jesus' favorite video game on earth?

I am bread.

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What's the difference between a seal and a sea lion?

An ion!

How do seals keep their coats so smooth?

They use a sea lion.

Herre Jokes More Herre Jokes

What am I herring?

This scampi true! Whale I squid you not Oh cod I can't die Waterboat me You're so shellfish Fin

What fish sounds like a telephone?

Herring herring...herring herring...herring herring.

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What do you call a beauty pageant for cartographers and magicians?

Miss Direction.

What do you call a magician in a Dr. Seuss book?

Who-dini

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

Where does a catholic cat go when it dies?

Purrrgatory.

Why do you put a fence around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!