Cod Jokes

What did the atheist fisherman say when asked about his catch?

There is no cod

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Why is CoD: Infinite Warfare set in space?

Because no one on earth wants to buy it.

Why should you never take a swordfish out to dinner?

Because you'll get stuck with the bill, and if you don't have money to pay the restaurant will call the cods on you. Fin.

What did the fisherman from Boston say to the magician?

Pick a cod, any cod!

What did the sick fish say when he got sick?

I've cod a cold."

Why is CoD like women?

Search and Destroy.

What did the fisherman say to the card magician?

A: Pick a cod, any cod!

What did the fisherman say to the magician?

Pick a cod, any cod!

What did the beaver say when he found out his new neighbour was a fish?

Cod dam

Knock Knock. Who's there? Cod! Cod who?

Cod red-handed !

What is the difference between a portuguese woman and a sea lion ?

One of them has shiny bodyhair and smells like cod, the other one is a mammal that lives in the sea.

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What did the fisherman say to the street magician?

Pick a cod, any cod!

What am I herring?

This scampi true! Whale I squid you not Oh cod I can't die Waterboat me You're so shellfish Fin

What do you call it when a soldier gets laid?

Tactical Insertion.* What do you call it when a COD player gets laid *Lies.*

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They're practically non existent.

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Because if you lay them right the first time, you can walk all over them from the rest of your life!

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A bird that lays down !

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What is a knight's favourite fish?

A swordfish!

Which fish dresses the best?

The Swordfish - It always looks sharp!

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Why do women try to talk football?

Do you see me in the kitchen discussing dishwashing strategies No. You don't.

When a woman says "WHAT did you just say?

say something different.

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What did the beaver say when he found out his new neighbour was a fish?

Cod dam

Why couldn't the beaver cook his twigs?

He only had Non-Stick pans.

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How are new marriages just like LOST?

The Significant Others just want babies.

Why are they using two ply toilet paper in Russia?

Because authorities want a carbon copy of all matters.

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What's the difference between love, true love and showing off?

Spit, swallow, gargle.

What's the difference between a refreshing beverage and an angry dragon?

One hits the spot...