Envelope Jokes

What did the stamp say to the envelope?

Stick with me man... We'll go places. Peace. Hmath out.

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What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it?

An envelope!

What starts with E, ends with E, and only has one letter in it?

An envelope!

What did the mailman ask his girlfriend?

Will you envelope with me? (I know its Corny, but it makes me chuckle.)

What type of animals are put on envelopes?

Seals.

How do you know if a blonde has been sending e-mail?

A: You see a bunch of envelopes stuffed into the disk drive.

Why are envelopes and papers white?

Because blackmail is illegal.

What did the stamp say to the envelope on Valentine's Day?

I'm stuck on you!"

What starts with "E" and has only one letter in it?

Envelope!

What type of objects do not accelerate, regardless of the force applied?

Letterhead and envelopes. No matter how hard you try, they remain stationery!

What begins with E, ends with E, and has one letter?

envelope

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Why did people stop printing stamps with photo of Pamela Anderson?

Banta: Because people started licking the wrong side of it for pasting them on the envelopes..

What does an envelope say when you lick it?

Nothing. It just shuts up.

What 8-letter word has one letter in it?

Envelope.

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What is a hurricane's favorite pet?

Anywhere from 1 to 5 cats

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Why are riddles about trees so hard?

Because they always leave you stumped!

What starts with e, ends with e, and only contains one letter?

an Envelope EDIT: My deepest Canadian apologies to those who are calling this a riddle. I always took it as a cheesy joke

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What's the fastest way to send a rabbit?

Haremail.

What do you call a letter sent up the chimney on Christmas Eve ?

Black mail !

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What's the easiest way to end a friendship?

Just asking for a friend

How many doctors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one but he has to have a nurse to tell him which end to screw in.

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What do you call it when old people are forced into slavery?

Indentured servitude.

What do Jedi say on May 4th?

May the force be with you just like every other day because they have no concept of our Gregorian calendar.

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How's the business?

2) Do you have a girlfriend 1) Why are you stealing from our refrigerator

What did Gordon Ramsey shout angrily at his girlfriend?

IT'S ALL PINK IN THE MIDDLE"

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What type of objects do not accelerate, regardless of the force applied?

Letterhead and envelopes. No matter how hard you try, they remain stationery!

What's the best way to accelerate a Mac?

A: 9.81 m/s2

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Why was "C" afraid of all the other letters ?

They are all "Not-C's" !

Why the story tells that Cindarella was at the ball?

Because the censor erased the letter "s".