Introduce Jokes

How did Zarathustra introduce his peanut-based health drink?

I teach you the goober quench!"

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How do sceptics introduce themselves?

I don't believe we've met..."

How does a butcher introduce his wife to his friends?

Meet Patty"

How long do you need to know someone before sharing fries?

Because I'm about to introduce myself to the girl at the end of the bar.

How to cure affluenza?

Introduce him to Warhammer.

What is a proper greeting when you're introduced to Christina Hendricks?

Nice to meet you both.

Why haven't you introduced me to your followers yet?

Are you ashamed of me

Whopper?

McDonalds responded by introducing a 3/5ths pounder.

How do you get a touchdown at Penn State?

Introduce a boy with Down's Syndrom to Jerry Sandusky.

When was pasta introduced to the Middle East?

when someone fed a genie alfredo

What do you call a Muslim who is also a pilot?

Greg if you're a friend, Gregory if you were introduced, Mr. Abdalla if you're doing business with one another.

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What do cows do when they're introduced?

They give each other a milk shake!

How does a chemist introduce Batman?

Sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium Batman!

How did the Hispanic secret agent introduce himself?

Bondo. Jaime Bondo.

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Batman Jokes More Batman Jokes

What is Batman's least favorite ice cream?

Vanilla Bane!

What does Batman's mum shout when it's time for dinner?

Nothing. She's dead.

Believe Jokes More Believe Jokes

Why are Democrats stupid enough to believe in climate change?

Because they were vaccinated as children.

How can you celebrate Christmas if you don't believe in God?

I responded with, "How can you celebrate Valentine's Day if nobody loves you "

Muslim Jokes More Muslim Jokes

What do you call a Muslim with a kebab?

A kaBOMB...*hah*

What did one radical muslim say to the other after a successful day of bombings?

Jihad a chance, and you blew it.

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

How are a grenade and a wife similar?

If you pull the ring off it, the house is gone

What did the man say to his wife when he failed to get an erection?

No hard feelings.

Chemist Jokes More Chemist Jokes

How do chemists poison each other?

With a Pb & J sandwich

What did the chemist say when he found out his two pet dogs died?

Barium

Mcdonald Jokes More Mcdonald Jokes

Why did Burger King decide to partner with Dairy Queen instead of McDonalds?

Because she unwrapped his Whopper. I'm so sorry!!!

How can you tell what clan a Scottish man is from?

Look under his kilt and if he has a quarter pounder then he is a McDonald.

Pilot Jokes More Pilot Jokes

Why's Guantanamo Bay full of actors?

Because they all shot pilots.

How do you tell if there's a Pilot in the room?

They've already told you.

Cow Jokes More Cow Jokes

What did the farmer say when he found dynamite in one of his cows?

This is a bomb in a bull.

Why are barns so noisy?

All the cows have horns