Morning Jokes

What would the blind man say every morning when he walked past the fish market?

Good morning, ladies!"

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Coffee Mug

What do cats read in the morning ?

Mewspapers !

When did she die?

My guess would be sometime this morning.

What losses its head in the morning and gets it back in the evening?

A pillow

Why does a girls rub her eyes in the morning?

A. Because they don't have balls to itch.

How are you doing this morning?

Me: *finishing hanging bag of coffee upside down like an IV and tying my arm off* Fine, you

What's the inscription on dead blues-singers tombstones?

A: "I didn't wake up this morning..."

What did the cow say to the paintbrush?

Moo. As told by my kid this morning.

What has everyone been using to get ice of their cars in the morning?

I've been using a discount card, but I can only ever get 20% off

I dropped a pear in my car this morning.

You should drop another one, then you would have a pair.

The Sergeant-Major growled at the young soldier: I didn’t see you at camouflage training this morning.

Thank you very much, sir.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Coffee Mug

You might also enjoy:

Pig Jokes More Pig Jokes

What's the difference between a pig and a ham sandwich?

You can get a prosecutor to indict the ham sandwich.

What's the difference between a girl's track team and a bunch of pigs?

One's a group of cunning runts...

Blind Man Jokes More Blind Man Jokes

How did a blind man drive his car?

A: One hand on the wheel the other on the road.

What has one eye but can't see?

A blind man... I'll show myself out... TO SEE YOU BACK NEXT WEEK!!

Pm Jokes More Pm Jokes

Why is the Prime Minister not seen in the morning?

Because he is PM not AM

What is Facebook?

Its a Place where Boy posts a JOKE and Gets no Response & If a Girl Posts the same JOKE , She gets Hundreds of likes , comments and Friend Requests and Lots of PM's .

Sociologist Jokes More Sociologist Jokes

Whats the difference between an anthropologist and a sociologist?

Anthropologists hate Western Civilization. Sociologists only hate America.

Why doesn't a sociologist look out the window in the morning?

Because then they'd have nothing to do in the afternoon.

Cat Jokes More Cat Jokes

What do you get if you cross a cat with a bottle of vinegar ?

A sourpuss !

Why is Germany uninhabitable for cats?

They have nein lives!

Normal Jokes More Normal Jokes

What's the normal amount of hair to mail someone?

I feel like this is a lot of hair I'm mailing to someone

What's awkward for a man but a normal part of the job for a lumberjack?

Morning wood.

Evening Jokes More Evening Jokes

What losses its head in the morning and gets it back in the evening?

A pillow

What has 4 legs in the morning, 2 legs in the evening and 6 legs at night?

I've trapped it in my bedroom, send help...

Daughter Jokes More Daughter Jokes

What's the difference between my daughter and my driveway?

I don't want to plow my driveway

What would be a good name for my daughter who is a synth?

Synthia