Reptile Jokes

What do you call a reptile biting its own tail?

An alligatorus

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What's the coldest type of reptile?

Blizzards.

What do Reptiles love to smoke?

Mariguana

What do you use to cover a herpetarium floor?

Reptiles.

What do you call a reptile that can't grow its tail back?

A Reptile Dysfunction.

What kind of weed do reptiles smoke?

Mariguana.

What do you call a reptile wearing a vest?

An investigator. Ba dum tss.

What do you call a reptile...?

What do you call a reptile who says "But Cowardly Lion......You've had courage..... This entire....Time"?

What did the lizard get at home depot?

Reptile.

What do you call a reptile that loves putting things in groups?

a segreGATOR

What kind of tiles can't you stick on walls ?

Reptiles !

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What do you call a reptile who anyways starts fights?

An Insti-Gator

What is it called when a reptile loses its tail?

Ereptile Dysfunction

What do you call the reptile that started the fight?

The insti-gator.

What do you call a reptile that works as a detective?

An investigator.

What do you call an std that only reptiles can get?

Gatoraids.

What kind of reptile do you bring on an expedition?

A navi-gator!

What do you call a reptile that's good with directions?

A Navigator

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What did the man say to his big breasted ex-wife?

Thanks for the mammaries.

What's the difference between the armed forces and Comcast?

Nobody ever says "Thank you for your service" to the latter.

Grow Jokes More Grow Jokes

How to stop a kid from growing up. How do you stop your kids from growing up?

Ask Jozsef Barsi.

Why gypsies boys let their mustache to grow?

To look more like their mom.

Courage Jokes More Courage Jokes

What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

A: Bach in the saddle again.

What is courage?

He received an A+ for turning in a blank page with only his name at the top.

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

What do you call an Asian gangster wearing a blue bandana?

A rice crippy.

Why do midgets not wear tampons?

They might trip on the string.

Sound Jokes More Sound Jokes

What sound does a piano make when falling down a mine shaft?

A-flat minor.

What do you have left after you burn a French alphabet?

H Edit: I don't like explaining jokes but since the first guy didn't get I might as well: When pronounced in a French accent it sounds like ash.

Snake Charmer Jokes More Snake Charmer Jokes

Why couldn't the snake charmer charm his snake?

He had a reptile dysfunction

What do snake charmers do in the rain?

Turn on their windshield vipers.

Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

Why do men get erections while they sleep?

So they don't accidentally roll out of bed.

What's my type?

Someone who is supportive. Someone who is warm. Someone I can just curl up and relax with. Wait I'm describing my bed again.

Child Jokes More Child Jokes

Why couldn't the clown make balloon animals for the children?

With inflation raising the cost he couldn't afford it.

What did the U.S airdrop the the children of Syria?

Dead parents