Reptile Jokes

What do you call a reptile biting its own tail?

An alligatorus

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What's the coldest type of reptile?

Blizzards.

What do Reptiles love to smoke?

Mariguana

What do you use to cover a herpetarium floor?

Reptiles.

What do you call a reptile that can't grow its tail back?

A Reptile Dysfunction.

What kind of weed do reptiles smoke?

Mariguana.

What do you call a reptile wearing a vest?

An investigator. Ba dum tss.

What do you call a reptile...?

What do you call a reptile who says "But Cowardly Lion......You've had courage..... This entire....Time"?

What did the lizard get at home depot?

Reptile.

What do you call a reptile that loves putting things in groups?

a segreGATOR

What kind of tiles can't you stick on walls ?

Reptiles !

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What do you call a reptile who anyways starts fights?

An Insti-Gator

What is it called when a reptile loses its tail?

Ereptile Dysfunction

What do you call the reptile that started the fight?

The insti-gator.

What do you call a reptile that works as a detective?

An investigator.

What do you call an std that only reptiles can get?

Gatoraids.

What kind of reptile do you bring on an expedition?

A navi-gator!

What do you call a reptile that's good with directions?

A Navigator

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Why did the girl take a ruler to bed?

She wanted to see how long she slept.

Why was Stalin a Bad leader?

Because he was staling a country that was rushing..(Russia) This joke was bad. Im going to bed now.

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How many members of an ethnicity does it take to perform a specified task?

A finite number! One member to perform the task, and the rest to behave in a manner stereotypical to the ethnicity in question.

Why can't my girlfriend perform at open mic night?

Because she's a cover thief.

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What's that coffee drink with icecream?

I used to know it, but... Affogato.

What's black, covered in teeth marks and no longer in use?

Philip Seymour Hoffman's belt.

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What's a Drummer's favorite food?

Anything that requires chopsticks. Ba-Dum-Tss

What do you call it when a cat gets angry?

A hissy fit. ba dum tss.

Grow Jokes More Grow Jokes

Why do Italian men grow moustaches?

They want to look like their mothers.

What kind of flower grows on your face?

A: Tulips.

Blizzard Jokes More Blizzard Jokes

Why do you call the US government when a blizzard of secret information gets released?

They're snowed-en!

What do you call a whistleblower stuck in a blizzard?

Snowd-en

Weed Jokes More Weed Jokes

What is Harrison Ford called when he smokes weed?

Han So-high.

What do you call a tree that smokes weed?

Snoop Log

Type Jokes More Type Jokes

What type of car does a ghost drive?

A BOOick.

What type of objects do not accelerate, regardless of the force applied?

Letterhead and envelopes. No matter how hard you try, they remain stationery!