Reptile Jokes

What do you call a reptile biting its own tail?

An alligatorus

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What's the coldest type of reptile?

Blizzards.

What do Reptiles love to smoke?

Mariguana

What do you use to cover a herpetarium floor?

Reptiles.

What do you call a reptile that can't grow its tail back?

A Reptile Dysfunction.

What kind of weed do reptiles smoke?

Mariguana.

What do you call a reptile wearing a vest?

An investigator. Ba dum tss.

What do you call a reptile...?

What do you call a reptile who says "But Cowardly Lion......You've had courage..... This entire....Time"?

What did the lizard get at home depot?

Reptile.

What do you call a reptile that loves putting things in groups?

a segreGATOR

What kind of tiles can't you stick on walls ?

Reptiles !

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What do you call a reptile who anyways starts fights?

An Insti-Gator

What is it called when a reptile loses its tail?

Ereptile Dysfunction

What do you call the reptile that started the fight?

The insti-gator.

What do you call a reptile that works as a detective?

An investigator.

What do you call an std that only reptiles can get?

Gatoraids.

What kind of reptile do you bring on an expedition?

A navi-gator!

What do you call a reptile that's good with directions?

A Navigator

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Did you hear about the chameleon who couldn't change color?

They had a reptile dysfunction.

What do you call it when a chameleon won't change colors?

A reptile dysfunction

Color Jokes More Color Jokes

What kind of food can you color with?

A cranberry! Esher (my Grandson) age 5

What color is the most metal?

Ma a

Tail Jokes More Tail Jokes

What has two heads, four eyes, six legs, and a tail?

A: A horse and rider.

What is it called when a reptile loses its tail?

Ereptile Dysfunction

Perform Jokes More Perform Jokes

What did the doctor say to the lizard who was complaining about problems performing in the bedroom?

It sounds like you have a reptile dysfunction.

Which fish can perform operations ?

A Sturgeon !

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

How many line dance instructors does it take to change a light bulb?

A. Five!...Six!...Seven!...Eight!

How many atheists does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to actually change the bulb, and the other to videotape so Christians can't claim God did it.

Sound Jokes More Sound Jokes

What's the sound of a water truck hitting a vinegar truck?

KAAA DOOOUUCHE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What sound does a Greek gun make?

TZZZZAT, TZZZZZZZAT!

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of pants do Bostonians wear?

Car Keys

Who's there ! Chloe ! Chloe who ?

Chloe's Encounters of the Third Kind !

Charm Jokes More Charm Jokes

Why couldn't the snake charmer charm his snake?

He had a reptile dysfunction

What is Hannibal Lecter's favorite Jane Austen quote?

There is no charm equal to tenderness of heart."**