Room Jokes

What did one mexican say to the other mexican when there were no room in the van?

Yo no space.

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How many Ferguson police officers does it take to change a lightbulb?

None... they just shoot the room for being black.

What room is a ghost scared of?

The living room( haha get it )

Why is it called a living room?

Don't we live in every room

How many cops does it take to arrest a broken light bulb?

Two. One arrests the room for being black. The other arrests the bulb for being broke.

Why did the prophylactic fly across the room?

It was peed off.

What do you call Jimmy Savile walking down the street?

British ... a paedestrian... *grabs coat, shuffles out of room in silent shame*

What do you call two witches who share a room?

Broom-mates.

What do you call a room full of comatose people?

A salad.

What's do pot and pusssy have in common?

You can tell the quality if you can smell it across the room.

How do you spot Al Gore in a room full of secret service agents?

A: He's the stiff one.

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What do you get with a room full of 32 Alabamans?

A full set of teeth

What did you just say!?

I recommend an immediate heart attack and let the paramedics carry you out of the room.

What's the difference between Here and There?

When you're right the whole room shouts "Here, here!" But when you're wrong one person pats you on the back and says "There, there."

How many Irish guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

30 - One to hold the light bulb and 29 to drink until the room spins.

How many chameleons are in the room with you right now?

You can never answer this question with 100% certainty.

Where are the posters?

WIFE: THEY JUST DISAPPEARED! In other room *cat is furiously stuffing missing dog posters into paper shredder*

Why are Republicans so easy to point out?

They're usually the elephant in the room

How do you make the best Harlem Shake video?

You throw a flashbang into a room of epileptic children.

How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb, and one to drink until the room starts spinning.

How many American cops does it take to change a broken lightbulb?

Two. One to arrest the room for being black, and the other to arrest the bulb for being broke.

How many American cops does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they just beat the room for being black

How many assholes does it take to change a lightbulb?

It doesn't matter, mine itches so bad it's on fire, providing plenty of light for everyone in the room!

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Grow Jokes More Grow Jokes

What do you call money that grows on trees?

Marijuana

What did the botanist say to the plant he was tired of tending to?

Grow away.

Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

What did the couch surfing, yoga junkie say when his friend asked him to leave?

Namaste.

What Pixar movie will Rick Astley never let you borrow?

He's never gonna give you Up! Credit to my friend who doesn't even Reddit.

Black Man Jokes More Black Man Jokes

What's the difference between a pizza and a black man?

A pizza can feed a family.

What is the difference between a tire and a black man?

The tire doesn't start singing when you chain it.

Finnish Jokes More Finnish Jokes

What are their nationalities?

Russian and Finnish!

What does Mortal Kombat and a church in Helsinki have in common?

Finnish Hymn!

Fungus Jokes More Fungus Jokes

What do you call a mushroom with a 12 in stem?

A fungi to hang out with

Why do mycologists have such a good time?

Because they hang around the fungi.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What kind of jokes do farmers tell?

CORNY JOKES!!!

What do you tell a woman who wants a larger outlook on life?

Tell her to stand next to the kitchen window

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

Where do most Mustangs get into car accidents at?

Leaving Mustang meets.

Why did Helen Keller fire her maid?

Cuz she left the plunger in the toilet. - Jackie Martling

Henry Jokes More Henry Jokes

How did Henry VIIIs wife enter the room?

Amble in (Anne Boyeyn) I made this joke up and am very proud of it :)

What did Alyssa the duck say to Henry the beaver?

Quack quack!