Turnip Jokes

What did the vegetable say to the dj?

lettuce turnip the beet

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What did the vegatable say to the fruit?

Turnip

What vegetable parties the hardest?

A Turnip.

How do farmers party?

They turnip the beets!

What do root vegetables do at tha club?

Turnip

What did the collard green do when his favorite song came on the radio?

He got turnip

What did the farmer say to Lil Jon?

Turnip for what

What do snotty vegetables do when they see something they don't like ?

They 'turnip' their noses.

What kinda vegetables like to party?

Lettuce turnip da beet!

What did the carrot say when the last vegetable arrived at the party?

TURNIP

What did the farmer say about his missing vegetables?

Lettuce pray they turnip.

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What did the vegetables say at the garden party?

Lettuce turnip the beet

What was the vegan rock band's first hit?

Lettuce turnip the beet!

What did one turnip say to the other?

We're white and bulbous, just like America

What do vegetables that go to college do on the weekends?

They Turnip

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What do you call black vegetables?

Collard greens

What did the collard green do when his favorite song came on the radio?

He got turnip

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What did Jesus say to Mohammed...?

What did Jesus say to Mohammed 'I died for you' What did Mohammed say in return 'How many did you take with you '

Why are ghosts always just moaning?

Did your manners die too Use your words!

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What did Lil' Jon do when Home Depot employee tried to sell him a lightbulb?

Turned down 4 watt

What is Lil Jon's favorite flavor of BBQ?

Mesquite squite squite. ...Forgive me I'm freshly smoked.

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What happened when the sausage came in first?

An announcer said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we have a wiener!"

Why is a man's pee yellow, and his sperm white?

So he can tell if he's coming or going.

College Jokes More College Jokes

How can a dog afford to go to college?

Furnancial Aid

What did the mother Buffalo say when her boy left for college?

BYE-SON!

Weekend Jokes More Weekend Jokes

What do computer experts do at weekends?

Go for a disk drive.

Where do Muslims go on a weekend?

To Mecca Bingo.

America Jokes More America Jokes

Why do pill bottles have cotton in them?

To remind blacks in America that they were cotton pickers before they were drug dealers.

Why does Bank of America not have a backspace on the ATM keypad?

Because America is never wrong.

Beet Jokes More Beet Jokes

What did Michael Jackson say to the Vegetables?

Just beet it

Who raided my vegetable patch?

PIGLET: Beets me!