Bake Jokes

Whats baked every day and sells itself?

My sister.

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What do you call it when you spill meth into your cake mix?

Baking Bad

What is the driest soda you can buy?

Baking soda.

Why couldn't the potato get off the couch?

Because it was baked.

What does the KKK use to bake cookies?

White flour!

What is the difference between a baker baking a cake and a gynecologist giving an exam?

A few degrees.

What do you ask a Jamaican who's baking a cake?

Hey, are you Jamaican a cake?

What's the best way to prepare baby food?

Shake'n bake.

What is it called when Michael J. Fox smokes a joint?

Shake N' Bake.

Why do baked bean cans contain only 239 beans?

Because if they had one more, they would be 240.

Why do chefs put so much effort into baking cakes?

Because you only get out what you pudding.

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What do you call someone who gets stoned and baked?

A witch.

What do you call a dance party in Colorado?

Shake 'n Bake.

What does Beyonce bake her cookies on?

Aluminatti foil

What's a joke that you invented?

Here's mine: Did you hear about the guy who had to snort a line of baking soda every day? He was basically addicted.

What happened to Mr. Potato Head when he smoked weed?

He got baked.

Why does the baker bake?

Because he kneads the dough.

What did the Catholic baker say after baking the Easter Eucharist?

He is risen.

How can you tell if a potato is baked?

It's are all red and glossy.

Why did the cardiologist bake a cake with partially hydrogenated oil?

Because he took the hypocritic oath

What is pickle bread before its baked?

Dill dough

How about baked chocolate cake?

Nah" "Yummy choccy bake " "No" Guy who named the orange: I have an idea...

How hot was that oven?

That they baked you in Because you're hotter than a freshly baked Pizza!

Why are you baking octopus?

So I can get octopi.

Why did the cookie get fired from his job?

He came to work baked.

Why are goldfish crackers always smiling?

Because they're baked..

How many Blondes does it take to bake chocolate chip cookies?

10....one to bake the cookies, and 9 to peel the M&Ms

What form of radiation bakes you cookies?

A gramma ray

What kind of Pop do you cook with?

Baking Soda

What did you do on the weekend?

ME: I baked CW: Nice. What did you bake ME: Me

Why did the cookie smoke weed?

Because he wanted to get baked.

Why did the baker bake more bread?

A: He kneaded the dough.

What do you call a loaf baked in a zoo?

Bread in captivity.

What's a Brit's favorite baked good?

cake.

What do you call bread baked in the south?

inbred

What do you get if you bake weed into apple pastry?

A high turnover.

What is Chalah before it's baked?

Judo

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Sister Jokes More Sister Jokes

What's it called when a smell dates his sister?

Incense!

Why'd you name me Carson, dad?

You were born in a car. Now go fetch your sister, Hospitaldaughter. It's time for tablemeal.

Bake Potato Jokes More Bake Potato Jokes

What do you call a stoned Irishman?

A baked potato.

What do you call a potato that had too much pot?

A baked potato

Blonde Jokes More Blonde Jokes

What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory?

A: Proofreading.

Why don't blondes like to make Kool-Aid?

They can't get eight cups of water into that little packet.

Meth Jokes More Meth Jokes

Why do so many white people do meth?

Nobody likes a cracker without salt. *I'm white*

Why do people get addicted to meth?

Because they didn't think of the aftermeth.

10 Jokes More 10 Jokes

How many reindeers does Santa Claus have?

Santa Claus has 10 reindeers according to the song.

How do Alaska CB radio operators say "10-4"?

5-5-2-2."

Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

Why did the blond get fired from the M&ampM factory?

Because she kept throwing out all the W's

What do you call a fire on the beach?

Bernie Sanders

Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

What do you call it when a bunch of deer have an intervention for one of their friends?

Change for a buck.

What's green and says "hey I'm a frog"?

A talking frog! Stolen from "Friends" still hilarious.

Peel Jokes More Peel Jokes

Why did the orange go to the doctor?

Because she wasn't peeling very well... All credit to my 8 yo son who suggested I post it here

What's the difference between friends and potatoes?

Potatoes don't scream when you peel their skin and toss them in boiling water.