Buddhist Monk Jokes

How do Buddhist monks send emails?

They remove all attachments.

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Why did the Buddhist monk refuse Novocain?

Because he wanted to transcend dental medication.

What do you get if you cross a Buddhist monk and a 16 year old blonde cheerleader?

Arrested for procurement of a minor. Trust me on this one.

What do Buddhist monks have for breakfast?

Ommm' lettes!

What did the Buddhist monk say when he approached the hotdog stand?

Make me one with everything.

Why couldn't the Buddhist monk send his mother a birthday card via email?

He had no attachments.

What did the Buddhist monk say to the pizza guy?

Make me one with everything.

Why do Buddhist monks have such sour faces?

Because they're acetic.

How do Buddhist monks compare interests?

With zen diagrams!

What does a Buddhist monk say when ordering a subway sandwich?

Make me one with everything*

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Attachment Jokes More Attachment Jokes

Why can't Buddhists vacuum under the couch?

Because they have no attachments.

When is it okay for monks to use e-mail?

When there are no attachments

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

What do you get if you cross a SJW and Jason Voorhees?

Social justice.

How did Jesus lose his virginity?

When he was nailed on the cross.

Send Jokes More Send Jokes

How do you send a dog to space?

Laika boss.

What's the easiest way to get a virus into ISIS computer systems?

By sending them executables.

Mother Jokes More Mother Jokes

What did the mother Buffalo say when her boy left for college?

BYE-SON!

What's the world's longest Ted Talk?

How I Met Your Mother

Transcend Jokes More Transcend Jokes

Why did the Buddhist monk refuse Novocain?

Because he wanted to transcend dental medication.

Why did the Buddhist refuse Novocaine?

He wanted to transcend dental medication.

Refuse Jokes More Refuse Jokes

Why does Mike Tyson refuse to buy playstation ?

Because he is an x-boxer

What did the Hollywood producer say to the Apes in the zoo when they refused to sign contracts to appear in his new film?

Stop playing it cagey!

Couch Jokes More Couch Jokes

Why did the couch give the table a dollar?

Because it was for chair-ity

How does that make you feel?

ME: "Mphh mophh wampph." T: Again, this works better if you don't lie face down on the couch.

Hotdog Jokes More Hotdog Jokes

What do you get if you cross a snake with a hotdog?

A fangfurther.

Who would win a fight between a taco and a hotdog?

so I punched him in the head.