Club Jokes

What did the baby otter say when it walked into the club?

Ouch

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What did the bacon say to the sandwich?

This club can't even handle me right now

How do you keep a club exclusively for straight edgers?

You weed out the rest

Why couldn't the Mod get into the club?

He never got banned.

What club cancels their meeting everytime?

The vegan club

Why are seals such homebodies?

Because clubbing isn't any fun.

What do you call 500 old white guys chasing a black man with clubs?

The PGA tour.

What do Tiger Woods and baby seals have in common?

They both get clubbed by Norwegians...

What happened when the Eskimo teens went clubbing?

They got new fur coats.

What do animal poachers do in their spare time?

They go clubbing.

What did the DJ order from the deli?

A club sandwich with extra beets.

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What do physics majors do when they hit the club?

They torque it..

Why did a seal go to the bar?

Because he didn't want to go clubbing.

What is the first rule of Womans fight club?

Never tell anyone what are you so mad about

Why do strippers look better in the club than outside the club?

Black lights matter.

What's the difference between seal hunters and teenagers?

There's none, both like clubbing.

How are you baby?

I am in bed and thinking about you ... And you my dear - I am at a club ... And sitting right behind you!!

What's the difference between fight club and veganism?

You don't talk about fight club.

How can Euchre and Marriage be similar?

Sometimes you start out all hearts and diamonds, but end up wishing you had a club and a spade.

What do 1% of racist people do?

They are making clubs like the KKK The other 99% are hidden here making bad jokes

Who wants to go to Florida with me?

I heard the clubs are to die for.

Bad at golf?

Join the club.

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Talk Jokes More Talk Jokes

What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee.

Who are you talking to in there?

M: *stumbles out of pantry with Nutella all over my face* nobody

Toad Jokes More Toad Jokes

What happened to the frog who parked illegally?

he got toad

What happened to the frog that broke down?

It got toad away.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a group of snowboarders and lifties (lift attendants)?

The lift attendants have jobs.

Whats the difference between a hippy chick and a washing machine?

When you drop a load in, it doesn't follow you around for 6 months trying to get spun. 8)

Frog Jokes More Frog Jokes

What kind of condoms do frogs wear?

Rib-bed

What happens when Frogs die playing Call of Duty?

They respawn.

Impress Jokes More Impress Jokes

What is the difference between a philanthropist and Nicki Minaj?

A philanthropist likes to impress people with his larg**esse**! :-P

What are your thoughts on it?

ME: trying to impress her I have 6 wives

End Jokes More End Jokes

Why does VALVE end with 2?

Because they can't count to

What did the elephant say when the man grabbed him by the tail ?

This is the end of me !

Canadian Jokes More Canadian Jokes

Why do Canadians love Syrian Refugees?

more moslem guys who can convert canadian girls to islam. What a deal!

What do you call a Canadian rap group?

Poutine Clan

People Jokes More People Jokes

What do you like to do in your free time?

Guy: I spy on people. Girl: Really I like to take long walks in the park and go to the movies with my friends. Guy: I know.

What do you call a group of singing people floating around in the ocean?

An acappellago