Leaf Jokes

What did the plant say to the vegan?

Leaf me alone.

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What did the one tree say to the other tree?

I'd best be leafing.

How do you depress a room full of geeks?

Hold the door! I'm a leaf on the wind!"

Why was the leaf hanged?

For tree-son. Ha-ha. Ha.

What falls faster from a tree, a leaf or an Emo?

The leaf, the Emo is too depressed to go outside. I saw this joke reposted so many times. I figured I'd mix it up a bit.

What falls faster from a tree? A leaf or an emo?

The leaf, the rope stops the emo.

Why is Adam known as the first accountant?

He turned a leaf and made an entry.

How do you know when spring is here?

the Leafs are out!

How does an elephant get down from a tree ?

He sits on a leaf and waits till autumn !

What did (x) say to (x)?

A: (Rude slang) Examples: What did the catterpillar say to the leaf ;3 "F*** you"

What falls down faster from a tree, a leaf or an emo?

A leaf. The rope catches the emo.

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What did one plant say to the other plant that was annoying him?

Please leaf me alone! Or I'll tell my mom, and you'll get in trouble.

What do Trees do in Autumn?

Take a Leaf of absence.

What lands first?

The leaf, a rope stopped the emo.

What does the tree says in autumn ?

Leaf me alone.

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Wind Jokes More Wind Jokes

How did Dairy Queen wind up pregnant?

Burger King didn't wrap his Whopper

What's the difference between the wind and a blonde?

Some days the wind doesn't blow.

Figure Jokes More Figure Jokes

How many black people does it take to change a light bulb?

Seriously, I gotta figure out how many slaves I need to buy

How do you get whole race to hate you?

Blow up the finish line. (I figured 2 years was long enough)

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

Why did the orange stop rolling down the hill?

It ran out of juice. I shall take my leave now.

How do you stop the neighbours kids from playing in your yard?

Molest them

Care Jokes More Care Jokes

What do you call a person who doesn't care that he just got kicked out of a Call of Duty team?

unfazed*

How do Canadians take care of their skin?

Maybe it's maple leaf.

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

What does the internet need to take when its constipated?

Google Fiber Note: Randomly came up with this joke today

When does a joke become a dad joke?

When it becomes apparent.

Skin Jokes More Skin Jokes

How do Canadians take care of their skin?

Maybe it's maple leaf.

Why do LGBT men typically have their whisker-hairs depilated?

So their skin won't feel so abrucive

Paper View Jokes More Paper View Jokes

Why couldn't the man be bothered to look at the origami mountains?

because it was pay-per view.* "paper view"

How does loose leaf watch TV?

Paper-view

Toronto Jokes More Toronto Jokes

Where's the red light district in Toronto?

Behind the Maple Leafs' net.

Why are housing prices in Toronto falling?

Because the market got flooded.