Library Jokes

Where does Sean Connery keep his guns?

In the library of course. They're for shelf-defense.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What's the tallest building in your city?

The library, because it has the most stories.

Where can you find lubricant in the library?

In the non-friction section.

What's the tallest building in the world?

A library, because there are so many stories. (Did Not Make Up this Joke)

Why did the clock get banned from the library?

It tocked too much

What is the tallest building in the entire world?

Q: What is the tallest building in the entire world? A: The library, because it has so many stories.

What is the definition of a Barbarian?

It's someone who cuts hair in a library.

What do you call a dog in the library?

A hush puppy.

What's the most dishonest place on earth?

The Library

How much for a happy ending?

Sir, this is a library!" *whispers* sorry, how much for a happy ending

Where is the safest place to stay at Ferguson?

The public pool, if it is too crowded try the library.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What do you call a hundred year old man who dies in the library?

Overdue

What was the preferred magazine of the bear that hung out behind the library?

Digest Readers.

Where do you find the Bible in a library?

Fiction".

What aisle has the milk?

Sir, this is a library." *whispers* "What aisle has the milk "

What's the tallest building?

A library, because it has so many stories.

How many nuns were at the library?

Absolutely nun

What did the cannibal wipe with . . . . . . after he ate some people at the library?

Pages from *Reader's Digest*

I couldn't get a reservation at the library...

They were fully booked.

What is the tallest building in the world?

The library, it’s got the most stories!

You might also enjoy:

Dinosaur Jokes More Dinosaur Jokes

What do you call someone who crashes flying dinosaurs into buildings?

A pterrorist

What do you call a dinosaur from the Middle East?

An Iran-asaurus!

Crack Jokes More Crack Jokes

Why are aussie bogans and necrophiliacs the same?

They both want to crack open a cold one.

Why is crack a "Rock"?

Because it's as hard to get off as Alcatraz.

Tall Building Jokes More Tall Building Jokes

What's the tallest building in the world?

A library, because there are so many stories. (Did Not Make Up this Joke)

What would Fred Flintstone say if you asked him which city had the Burj Khalifa, the tallest building in the world?

Abu Dhabi Dooooooo!

Shelf Jokes More Shelf Jokes

What did Sean Connery say when his books fell on his head?

I blame my shelf

What did Sean Connery say when a book from his cupboard fell on him?

I can only blame my shelf. Shout out to /r/shubreddit

Lubricant Jokes More Lubricant Jokes

What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?

Slow down, and possibly use a lubricant

What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?

Slow down and use Lubricant.

Cut Jokes More Cut Jokes

How do you get a black man out of a tree?

Cut the rope.

What is the hardest part of cuting a baby in half with a straight razor?

My erection.

Librarian Jokes More Librarian Jokes

What did the book say to the librarian?

Can I take you out

What did the librarian say to the travel agent?

Find what you're booking for

Check Jokes More Check Jokes

What do you do at a red light?

Me: "I usually respond to texts and check my Twitter."

Why do Australians take forever to play chess?

Because they never make it past the first check, mate.