Me: Shower. W: ...what else M: Make a new iTunes playlist. W: Wow. M: Might not have time for a shower.
Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
Coffee Mug
Davey.... are we pouring concrete today "
Elementary, my dear Watson.
Scratching at the inside of his coffin.
BART: I don't know where my hair starts
A slipper. (Made this up today, but almost definitely will have been made up before by someone else)
It has so many problems! -Sorry doing a whole bunch of math today and i thought of this.
Cos I'm quitting today."
Current.
Me : How about a newspaper. Wife : OK, which one Me : Today's.
Lettuce alone, without dressing. I remembered this today from a joke book I had when I was a kid. Wasn't sure if it should be here or /r/dadjokes
Couple's Daily Question Mug
Me: It'll be higher quality and less tense for everyone if we wait Boss: Today!
Doc says, "Tell him I can't see him today."
If she's only wearing one sock. (This joke brought to you courtesy the homeless guy outside my local 7-11.) Edit: tweaked the punchline.
A sheep.
He left his home on the range.
Dont leave me hangin' bro
It ends.
Because they were both too Shellfish.
The one who you have to explain the joke to.
Someone with no sense of tumor.
Take the P out of him.
Because it couldn't control P
Because it brings Mayflowers.
Because today's April full!
Teacher: Why is your paper blank? Student: Sometimes silence is the best answer ! :D :D
None, that's what students are for.
When he found out, Santa shouldn't have gotten mad, he only had his elf to blame. Now Santa won't forgive him until elf freezes over.
Ah-so-late!
