Approach Jokes

Why didn't the approaching black hole concern the astronaut?

He didn't understand the gravity of the situation.

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How did Mars feel when the colonists were approaching?

Terra-fied.

What did the Buddhist monk say when he approached the hotdog stand?

Make me one with everything.

Why did the Kurd bury his music collection?

His tribesman said "ISIL is approaching, and they're coming for Yazidis."

What did inhabitants of an island in South-East Thailand say when they saw a tsunami approaching?

Oh, Phuket!

How did the dog warn its master that a Gorilla was approaching?

He barked g-r-r-r-illa!

When she approached my car window I asked what's wrong officer?

She said "ugh nothing!"

Why is it the only thing a woman wants out of a man these days is security?

Well it's the first thing they say when I approach them.

How do you know it's going to be a white christmas?

It's approaching with deceptive speed.

What did the pair of flip-flops say to the approaching man with disgusting feet?

Shoe.

What do you call a bag that never approaches anything?

an asymp-tote*

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What did Cinderella say as she was approaching the ball?

makes choking sounds*

What's the best angle to approach any challenge?

Try-Angle.

How do you approach an angry Welsh cheese?

Caerphilly.

What you hope someone might say about you when they approach your casket?

Hey, I think he moved.

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Fie Jokes More Fie Jokes

How did the Australian make the Olympics?

He koala-fied!!!!! Buh-duh-tss

How did Mars feel when the colonists were approaching?

Terra-fied.

Situation Jokes More Situation Jokes

What's the difference between woman's breasts and a box of matches?

The matches are made for adults, but kids constantly grab'em and play with them. The situation is quite opposite with breasts.

How many bassoonists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one but they'll insist on going through about 5 bulbs before they find one that suits this particular room and situation.

Phuket Jokes More Phuket Jokes

What did inhabitants of an island in South-East Thailand say when they saw a tsunami approaching?

Oh, Phuket!

What's your favorite city in Thailand?

Phuket, I don't know...

Group Jokes More Group Jokes

What do you call a group of medical professionals who navigate around the Horn of Africa without being accosted by pirates?

Doctors without boarders.

What do you call a group of Amish children?

Amlets. (I'll see myself out)

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did the elephant paint himself with different colours?

Because he wanted to hide in the colouring box !

What did the man who ate a clock say?

That was time consuming but I still want seconds.

Mar Jokes More Mar Jokes

What were the odds that Matt Damon made it off Mars?

Astronomical

What do you a Mars with water?

Wars

Yazidi Jokes More Yazidi Jokes

What do you call a naughty Yazidi child?

A little devil

Why did the Kurd bury his music collection?

His tribesman said "ISIL is approaching, and they're coming for Yazidis."

Gorilla Jokes More Gorilla Jokes

What do they feed a gorilla when he goes to Paris?

Ape Suzettes!

Which author do the Gorillas love most?

Joh Steinbeck - who wrote 'The Apes of Wrath!'