Approach Jokes

Why didn't the approaching black hole concern the astronaut?

He didn't understand the gravity of the situation.

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How did Mars feel when the colonists were approaching?

Terra-fied.

What did the Buddhist monk say when he approached the hotdog stand?

Make me one with everything.

Why did the Kurd bury his music collection?

His tribesman said "ISIL is approaching, and they're coming for Yazidis."

What did inhabitants of an island in South-East Thailand say when they saw a tsunami approaching?

Oh, Phuket!

How did the dog warn its master that a Gorilla was approaching?

He barked g-r-r-r-illa!

When she approached my car window I asked what's wrong officer?

She said "ugh nothing!"

Why is it the only thing a woman wants out of a man these days is security?

Well it's the first thing they say when I approach them.

How do you know it's going to be a white christmas?

It's approaching with deceptive speed.

What did the pair of flip-flops say to the approaching man with disgusting feet?

Shoe.

What do you call a bag that never approaches anything?

an asymp-tote*

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What did Cinderella say as she was approaching the ball?

makes choking sounds*

What's the best angle to approach any challenge?

Try-Angle.

How do you approach an angry Welsh cheese?

Caerphilly.

What you hope someone might say about you when they approach your casket?

Hey, I think he moved.

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Isil Jokes More Isil Jokes

Whats the favored pasta dish among ISIL members?

Baked Yazidi............ I know where I'm going after this life :(

What is ISIL's favourite dessert?

Terrormisu

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

How come a man driving a train got struck by lightning?

He was a good conductor.

What do you call a man with a kilt over his head ?

Scott !

Phuket Jokes More Phuket Jokes

What's your favorite city in Thailand?

Phuket, I don't know...

What did inhabitants of an island in South-East Thailand say when they saw a tsunami approaching?

Oh, Phuket!

Car Window Jokes More Car Window Jokes

What does a frog say when it washes car windows?

Rub it rub it rub it.

Why couldn't the Chinese herpetologist see out his car window?

Because it was too froggy outside.

Gorilla Jokes More Gorilla Jokes

What do you call a gorilla with a banana in each ear ?

Whatever you want, he can't hear you..

Who didn't let the gorilla into the ballet?

Just the people who were in charge of that decision.

Security Jokes More Security Jokes

What do you call the security at a Samsung store?

Guardians of the Galaxy, or firefighters.

Why do donut shops not hire security?

Because Cops go there willingly. Free security and protection.

Understand Jokes More Understand Jokes

Why do thieves have such a hard time understanding sarcasm?

They take things literally

What part of "No" don't you understand?

Probably the whole thing I'm guessing. It's a pretty short word. What You're a squirrel Sorry

Buddhist Monk Jokes More Buddhist Monk Jokes

What did the Buddhist monk say when he approached the hotdog stand?

Make me one with everything.

What do you get if you cross a Buddhist monk and a 16 year old blonde cheerleader?

Arrested for procurement of a minor. Trust me on this one.