Canadian Jokes

What's a Canadian's favorite number?

Eight.

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How do you get three drunk, rowdy Canadians out of a pool?

Ask them to get out of the pool.

What do Canadians put on their steaks?

Eh-1 (Sorry)

What's the difference between the Canadian-American border and a performance enhancing drug?

Niagara Falls, Viagra rises.

This joke may have profanity.

Why did the Canadian DJ turn down a gig at a local gym?

Because why MC, eh

How do you know Justin Bieber is Canadian?

Only a Canadian could get a #1 on Billboard with a song called Sorry.

How do you know it's safe to feed the ducks the same thing as the Canadian geese down at the pond?

Because what's good the goose is good for Merganser.

What do Canadians say after a prayer in church?

Eh-men

What do you call a Canadian rap group?

Poutine Clan

What's a Canadian's favourite weapon?

An Eh k-47

What kind of eggs do Canadians prefer?

Grade eh

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What did the Canadian Reddit user say?

Ehhhhh lmao

What do you call a canadian girl that can not sing?

Justin Bieber

What happens to a Canadian's car when it breaks down?

The owner calls Triple Eh.

What is the most popular Canadian poultry restaurant?

Chic-fil, eh

What do you call a loonie answering questions on reddit?

DollarAMA. *Only Canadians will get it, sorry.

Why do people say that Canadians always want to establish that they're Canadian?

As a Canadian, this offends me.

What do the Canadian Illuminati call themselves?

The Illuminat-Eh!

Why did the Canadian DJ turn down the gig at the local Y?

Because why emcee, eh

What do you call a weapon used by a Canadian ninja?

A: Canuck-chucks.

Why do you always exchange your Canadian dollars to USD?

It makes no sense!" "Well neither does the Canadian Mint!"

Why do Canadians love Syrian Refugees?

more moslem guys who can convert canadian girls to islam. What a deal!

What did the Canadian say when asked what he thought about stereotypes?

Eh.

What'll it be kid?

Seal plops a five on the counter and says "Anything but a Canadian Club."

What's the difference between an American and a Canadian?

A: An Canadian not only has a sense of humour but can also spell it.

How do you keep Canadian bacon from curling in the pan?

Take away its brooms.

Why shouldn't Canadian adults laugh at children who believe in the Easter Bunny?

Because most of them still believe in Justin Trudeau

How do you get 20 Canadians out of a pool?

Okay folks, time to get out of the pool!"

What's the shortest possible sentence in Canadian English?

Sorry, eh.

What's the difference between a canoe and a Canadian?

The canoe tips.

Why do Canadians prefer their jokes in hexidecimal?

Because 7 8 9 A

Who's sorry now?

First question on Canadian citizenship exam

How many Canadians does it take to change a light bulb?

Just two. One to politely ask and the other to politely help.

How many Canadians does it take to change a lightbulb ?

Q: How many Canadians does it take to change a lightbulb

What do you call a troublesome Canadian high schooler?

A poutine.

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Group Jokes More Group Jokes

What's the difference between a group of midget engineers and a women's track team?

One is a group of cunning runts...

What's the difference between a group of pigmies and a lesbian track team?

One of them is a bunch of cunning runts

Syrian Jokes More Syrian Jokes

What do you get when you let 25,000 Syrian refugees into Canada during the winter?

Isisicles

What does a Syrian pirate say?

Allah AkbARRR

Establish Jokes More Establish Jokes

Why do people say that Canadians always want to establish that they're Canadian?

As a Canadian, this offends me.

How many x does it take to change a lightbulb?

f(x), where f(x) = the optimal number of x for establishing a humorous stereotype.

American Jokes More American Jokes

What is the best way to pick up American girls?

With a crane.

What's the similarity between free healthcare and good jokes?

Americans don't get them.

Term Jokes More Term Jokes

What is another term for ob gyn?

A Klingon! since obstetrician gynaecologist is too long, and OB GYN doesn't make sense ,lets call them Klingons

What do "white privilege" and "severely mentally handicapped" have in common?

Both terms are almost universally misunderstood by the people to whom they apply.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do you know ancient Egyptians loved books so much?

Because they built their stuff with reads!

Which is worse, insouciance or ignorance?

I don't know and I don't care.

Swimming Pool Jokes More Swimming Pool Jokes

What's the difference between a paddling pool and a swimming pool?

Deep ends really.

What does David Bowie do after he gets out of the swimming pool?

He ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-changes. (Sorry if repost)

Deal Jokes More Deal Jokes

How can you tell you are dealing with an extroverted engineer?

He's staring at somebody else's shoes.

Why do Canadians love Syrian Refugees?

more moslem guys who can convert canadian girls to islam. What a deal!