Identify Jokes

What did the square of cloth identify as on tumblr?

Nap-kin

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What do you call a bus that identifies with no gender?

A transit

What does Darth Vader identify as on Tumblr?

Ana-kin

What do you call a Tumblr user who identifies as a device which inflates a tire?

A pumpkin!

What do you call a white woman that identifies as black?

TransRachel - credit Jennie

Why does Darkwing Duck wear a mask?

You are a duck. No one could identify you without describing every other duck on earth.

How can you identify a French Infantryman?

Sunburned armpits.

What do I want to do to your body?

I don't know. Identify it, I guess.

Why is it difficult to identify horses from the back?

They're always switching their tails!

How can you identify an Irish pirate?

A: He's the one with patches over both eyes.

How many guys in IT does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two. One to identify that the lightbulb has indeed burned out, and one to call the maintenence man to change the lightbulb.

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How do you identify a baboon?

Easy, they stick out like a sore bum!

What do you mean I can't identify as a television?

Just watch me!

How do you identify a vegan?

Listen closely.

Which character do you most identify with?

Ross 8. Which is your least favorite character Ross

Why did the Tumblr user get cut up on Halloween?

She identified as pump-kin.

How do you search and identify for feminist jokes in /r/jokes?

They have a "JOKE" disclaimer tag

How do you identify the head waitress at a restaurant?

She's the one wearing knee pads.

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Earth Jokes More Earth Jokes

What did earth say to the other planets?

You guys have no life!

What did Earth say to the Sun?

My life revolves around you!

Body Jokes More Body Jokes

What organ in the body never dies?

THE LIVER. ometrist will copyright this joke. hopefully.

Why do Sumo Wrestler's shave their bodies?

So that they don't get mistaken for feminists

French Jokes More French Jokes

Why didn't the Duke of Windsor let his French servant help him tie his tie?

He never does it with a four-in (foreign)-hand.

What do you call a mentally impaired French Man that cant say no?

A Oui-Tard

Eye Jokes More Eye Jokes

What do you like about me?

Me: Your crippling self esteem issues have caused you to lower your standards. Her: What Me: Your eyes

Don't look at the eclipse through a colander.

You'll strain your eyes.

Tire Jokes More Tire Jokes

What is the difference between a black person and a tire?

The tire doesn't sing gospels when you put it in chains.

How many psychologists does it take to change a tire?

Just one, but first the tire really has to want to change.

Pumpkin Jokes More Pumpkin Jokes

Why is Halloween a hillbilly's favorite holiday?

Because they like to pumpkin. I'll see myself out...

Why couldn't Cinderella play football very well?

Her coach was a pumpkin

Mask Jokes More Mask Jokes

Why does Batman wear a mask?

Because the citizens of Gotham aren't morons, like those idiots over in Metropolis

Why do you hide behind a mask?

Kylo Ren: *takes off his mask to reveal his real face* Rey: Wow. Put the mask back on.

Horse Jokes More Horse Jokes

What actor do horses like the most?

Matthew McConaug-hay

Why did the horse run into the bar?

He didn't jump high enough.