Leper Jokes

What did the leper give to the whore?

A tip

This joke may have profanity.

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How could a leper afford a nice house?

It cost an arm and a leg

How does the leper give directions?

It's straight ahead, just my finger".

What do you get when you mix a leper and a con man?

A lepercon. (In honor of Saint Patrick's day.)

Why did the leper fail his driving test?

He left his foot on the clutch.

What do you call a leper in a jacuzzi?

Stew. Bonus: what do you do if an epileptic jumps into a jacuzzi? You throw in your laundry.

Why did the leper chase the leopard?

Because she wanted the D. (I dreamed this joke last night. Not bad for a dream joke.)

What's the hardest part of breaking up with a leper ?

They always leave a piece of themselves behind.

Why did the leper return to the shower?

He forgot his head and shoulders.

What's the difference between a leper and a tree?

A tree has limbs.

What did one leper say to another?

Got yer nose!

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What do you call a leper in a hot tub?

Stew!

What happened when the lepers played poker?

One guy threw down his hand and another laughed his head off. This was my best friend's favorite joke when she was little apparently.

What do you call two lepers in a spar?

Soup

Why do ecologists like lepers?

Because they're biodegradable!

What's the fastest way to make a skeleton?

Put a leper in a wind tunnel

Why did the leper crash his car?

He left his foot on the accelerator.

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Whatever happened to Robot Jones?

He got cancelled.

What can I bring to your party?

Friend: A six pack. does 10 crunches cancels

Eye Jokes More Eye Jokes

What do you call a fish without eyes?

A FSSSSSHHHH

What do you mean you can't sleep?

It's so easy I could do it with my eyes close! Me: *walks away*

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

Why did I leave my grades at the orphanage?

I couldn't raise them

What do you do when nothing goes right?

Go left

Arm Jokes More Arm Jokes

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool?

Bob.

What do you call 222,215 Frenchman with their arms up?

The active french armed forces.

Girl Jokes More Girl Jokes

Why did the cz-75 get the girl pregnant?

It took too long to pull out.

What do you call a girl who's preventing you from reaching your goal?

A keeper

Referee Jokes More Referee Jokes

What do you call a white man who never lose in the boxing ring?

The referee

What do you call a frenchman in the World Cup Final?

A referee

Corner Jokes More Corner Jokes

Why does a redneck hold a knife while driving?

So he can cut corners.

What did one wall say to the other wall?

I'll meet you at the corner!

Saint Patrick Day Jokes More Saint Patrick Day Jokes

Why did the pigs paint their hoofs green?

It was Saint Patrick's Day.

What is the difference between Saint Patrick's Day and Martin Luther King Day?

On Saint Patrick's Day everybody wants to be Irish.