Shell Jokes

How do tacos fair in a war?

They tend to be shells of their former selves

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

What do you call a girl shell?

A she shell.

What animal do psychiatrists bring in to mental hospitals to help patients with social anxiety?

Squirrels they're the best at getting nuts out of their shells.

What do you call a turtle without its shell?

Dead.

What do you call a greedy crab?

Shell fish......

Why do mermaids wear sea shells?

Because D-shells are too big and B-shells are too small.

What did the turtle do when he ran out of gas?

He went to the Shell station.

What do you call Bruce Lee stuffed in a shell?

A crustacean

How do you make a racing snail faster?

I tried taking his shell off but it only made him more sluggish.

What did Zach De La Rocha bring home from the beach?

A pocket full of shells.

Why are linux geeks very introvertish ?

Because they never get out of their shell

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

How did the Italians lose WWII?

They ordered ziti instead of shells.

How many Wake Forest fraternity brothers does it take to make chocolate chip cookies?

Seventeen. One to do it and sixteen to shell the M&M's.

Why did the shell not go to the beach?

Because he was self-CONCH-ious.

What gas do snails prefer?

Shell.

Why is grandpa running daddy?

Shut up son, and give me another shell.

What do turtles do for fun?

Play hide and shell.

How do snails get their shells all shiny?

They use snail polish.

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Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

How do you make cultured milk?

You take it to the Moo-seum. I know this joke is terrible, but I totally came up with it on my own, but I'm sure it exists already.

Which joke is better?

How many tickles does it take to tickle an octopus? Ten tickles. How many tickles does it take to tickle an octopus? Ten tickles.

Help Jokes More Help Jokes

How many hippies does it take to change a lightbulb?

Please help. There are ten so far and they have invited their gross friends to our home. They are using the broken lightbulb to smoke crack off of.

Why should you hire a drag queen to help clean your garage?

They know how to tuck away junk.

Tacos Jokes More Tacos Jokes

How many tacos does it take to change a lightbulb?

why don't we have both

How do tacos fair in a war?

They tend to be shells of their former selves

Let Jokes More Let Jokes

What do a loading bar and my girlfriend have in common?

Both equally inefficient at letting me know when they are actually ready.

How many dead-heads does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They just let it burn out and follow it around for twenty years.

Animal Jokes More Animal Jokes

What can an Elephant make that no other animal can make?

Baby elephants.

Why does the town pound keep animals in separate cages?

Cause otherwise they'd be going to pound town.

Small D Shell Jokes More Small D Shell Jokes

Why do mermaids wear seashell bras?

Because "B" shells are to small and "D" shells are too big.

Why does the Little Mermaid wear seashells for a bra?

Because B-shells are too small and D-shells are too big!

War Jokes More War Jokes

Why are firetrucks red?

You see, firetrucks have 4 wheels, can carry 8 men and 4+ 8 = 12. There are 12 inches in a ruler and Queen Elizabeth was a ruler. There was once a ship named Elizabeth that sailed the seas. Fish live in the seas and fish have fins. People from Finland are called Fins. Finland and Russia had a war a long time ago. Russia has red on its flag and that's why they're red. Cause they're always russian around.

What's wrong with the phrase "War on Drugs"?

Wars end.

Opposite Jokes More Opposite Jokes

What is the opposite of irony?

Wrinkly.

Who's the opposite of Willem Dafoe?

Willem DaFriend.