Fire Jokes

Why did the farmer fire the DJ?

Because he kept on dropping beets.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What did the man say when he sat on a candle?

Fire in the hole!

How do you make a fire with two sticks?

A: Make sure one is a match!

Why was the driver fired from the destruction derby?

He was accused of wreckless driving.

Why did the feminist get fired from Subway?

Because she refused to make a sandwich

What you call it?

takes back mixtape* FIRE!

What is Samsung PR team's Christmas jingle you ask?

The phone we gave you is frightful, But the fire is so delightful ; And since we have no replace to go, Let it blow! Let it blow! Let it blow!

What do a hurricane a tornado a fire and a divorce have in common?

They are four ways you can lose your house!

What did Water say to Fire when they met for the first time?

Shhhhhhh.

How did you get those horrible burns?

flashback to me enjoying some hot soup on a rollercoaster* I saved a litter of puppies from a fire.

Why was the blonde fired from the M&ampM factory?

She threw out all the W's.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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Why did the janitor get fired from the bank?

Because he cleaned out the vault.

Why did you leave your previous job?

ME: Because once they fire you they won't let you stay.

What did the pirate say when he saw his kid lighting the ship on fire?

Arrr son!

Why did the vengeful fireman lose his job?

He tried fighting fire with fire.

Why was the horseman fired from his job of saddle testing?

He was always standing up on the job!

Why did the farmer's house catch on fire?

He left his home on the range.

How many assholes does it take to change a lightbulb?

It doesn't matter, mine itches so bad it's on fire, providing plenty of light for everyone in the room!

Why did the worker get fired from the orange juice factory?

Lack of concentration.

I just got fired from my job at the keyboard factory.

They told me I wasn't putting in enough shifts.

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3 Jokes More 3 Jokes

Why don't cows drink milk?

because they lactose I don't know why I found this so funny! ready for the down vote to begin 3

What is the difference between a Sun Devil fan and a pet rock?

About 3 IQ points

Rifle Jokes More Rifle Jokes

What did one rifle say to the other?

Me llamo es 762

What do you call a rifle that has been fired recently?

A shotgun

Specie Jokes More Specie Jokes

What species of mushroom is known for being an instigator?

The shiitalkie mushroom.

What do we do?

We make jager bombs. We are not a species made to last.

Earth Jokes More Earth Jokes

What's the most 'Spoken' language on Earth?

Hint: It's not English Spanish.

What do you get when you cross an oven with a car?

A hot rod. NOTE: When I was about 5, I thought this was the funniest joke on earth.

Hose Jokes More Hose Jokes

What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin sons?

Hose A and Hose B

What do you call two Mexicans on a firetruck?

Hose A and Hose B.

Play Jokes More Play Jokes

Why can't New Yorkers play chess?

They're short 2 towers.

What game do French schoolchildren like to play?

Simon 16

Queen Jokes More Queen Jokes

What will people say when Prince Charles dies?

Long live the Queen.

Why are kids with DS getting elected prom kings and queens?

Either way, they're going down in history.

Canon Jokes More Canon Jokes

Why was the Polaroid fanfiction ignored by the photography community?

Because it wasn't Canon.

What do they do when the Queen has a baby?

Fire a 21 gun salute. What do they do when a nun has a baby Fire the dirty old Canon.