Herd Jokes

What did Nala tell Simba after seeing a herd of women on Black Friday?

You gotta Mufasa"

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How do you count a herd of cattle?

How do you count a herd of cattle? Q: How do you count a herd of cattle? A: With a cowculator.

What did the sheep say to the sheepdog faking deafness?

You herd me!"

What do you call a big cat disguised to blend in with a herd of sheep?

A sheopard.

What did the Shepard say when he saw the sheep?

I herd that!"

What's the difference between an attorney and a herd of buffalo?

The attorney charges more.

What did tarzan say when he saw a herd of elephants in the distance?

Look, a herd of elephants in the distance!"

Why can't you keep a secret from cattle?

They herd

What did the farmer say when the townspeople told him all of his cows were in town..?

I herd.

Why did Bossy tell the cowpoke to leave her calf alone?

She thought children should be seen and not herded!

Who lost a herd of elephants ?

Big bo peep !

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How do cows get their gossip?

They herd it through the bovine.

What do you call a herd of cows in a psychiatrists office?

An encownter group.

What have you been doing" asked Jane. "Chasing a herd of elephants on vines" "Really ?

said Jane. "I thought elephants stayed on the ground !"

What has 200 legs 50 noses and is very loud?

A herd of stampeding aardvarks!

What did the shepherd's wife say to the shepherd?

You herd.

What did Jesus say to the flock of sheep?

I herd that.

Why aren't cowboy jokes funny?

Ya herd one, ya herd em all.

What happened to the lost cattle?

Nobody's herd.

What do you call a group of cattle sent into orbit?

The first herd shot round the world!

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Why did Thor file a police report?

Because someone stole his thunder

What did the Catholic Mexican say to greet the Greek God of Thunder?

hey zeus!"

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a women's argument and a knife?

The knife has a point !

What's the difference between a paddling pool and a toddler?

The pool doesn't scream when you go in dry.

Ya Jokes More Ya Jokes

Why do ya reckon Blonds don't have elevator jobs?

A: Cos they've no idea of the route.

Where ya been?

Me: At the cemetery. Her: Someone dead Me: Yeah. All of them.

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

How can you double your money?

Look at it in a mirror.

Why did the nurse always insist on using the rectal thermometer to obtain temperatures?

Because nurses are taught in nursing school to always look for her patient's best side.

Elephant Jokes More Elephant Jokes

Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?

Because they're so good at it.

How Do You Get an Elephant Out of the Fairway?

You take the F out of Fair and the F out of Way

Cattle Jokes More Cattle Jokes

Why did the farmer stop smoking with his cattle?

Because the steaks were too high...

Why did the cows keep returning to the field of marijuana?

It was the pot calling the cattle back.

Secret Jokes More Secret Jokes

What's that movie about the girl who forgets Adam Sandler every day?

I want to know her secret

Why did they fire Victoria?

Was she keeping secrets? What is Victoria's Secret?

Em Jokes More Em Jokes

What's the motto for Child Protective Services?

You shake em' we take em!"

What is your favorite one to two line joke?

Keep em coming boys and gals. This is making my 15 car ride way better!