Herd Jokes

What did Nala tell Simba after seeing a herd of women on Black Friday?

You gotta Mufasa"

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How do you count a herd of cattle?

How do you count a herd of cattle? Q: How do you count a herd of cattle? A: With a cowculator.

What did the sheep say to the sheepdog faking deafness?

You herd me!"

What do you call a big cat disguised to blend in with a herd of sheep?

A sheopard.

What did the Shepard say when he saw the sheep?

I herd that!"

What's the difference between an attorney and a herd of buffalo?

The attorney charges more.

What did tarzan say when he saw a herd of elephants in the distance?

Look, a herd of elephants in the distance!"

Why can't you keep a secret from cattle?

They herd

What did the farmer say when the townspeople told him all of his cows were in town..?

I herd.

Why did Bossy tell the cowpoke to leave her calf alone?

She thought children should be seen and not herded!

Who lost a herd of elephants ?

Big bo peep !

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How do cows get their gossip?

They herd it through the bovine.

What do you call a herd of cows in a psychiatrists office?

An encownter group.

What have you been doing" asked Jane. "Chasing a herd of elephants on vines" "Really ?

said Jane. "I thought elephants stayed on the ground !"

What has 200 legs 50 noses and is very loud?

A herd of stampeding aardvarks!

What did the shepherd's wife say to the shepherd?

You herd.

What did Jesus say to the flock of sheep?

I herd that.

Why aren't cowboy jokes funny?

Ya herd one, ya herd em all.

What happened to the lost cattle?

Nobody's herd.

What do you call a group of cattle sent into orbit?

The first herd shot round the world!

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Calf Jokes More Calf Jokes

Why are blondes such bad cow herders?

Because they can't keep their calves together

What do you call a burger made from 50% beef and 50% veal?

Half Calf

Cattle Jokes More Cattle Jokes

Why are the steaks so high?

Because the pot was calling the cattle back and the cows went back to the marijuana field.

Why did the cattle leave the marijuana field?

Because the steaks were too high!

Tarzan Jokes More Tarzan Jokes

Why did the elephant paint his balls green?

Answer: to hide in avocado trees.. How did Tarzan die? Answer: Picking avocados

What does Tarzan sing at Christmas?

Jungle Bells

Arm Jokes More Arm Jokes

How did Hellen Keller break her arms when she fell down a well?

She was shouting for help.

What do you call a pretty lady on the arm of a drummer?

A Tattoo.

Distance Jokes More Distance Jokes

Why did the bald man draw rabbits all over his head?

From a distance they look like hares!

Why did the physicist move across the street from the haunted graveyard?

To observe spooky action at a distance! Thank you, I'll be here all week.

Thunder Jokes More Thunder Jokes

What did the Catholic Mexican say to greet the Greek God of Thunder?

hey zeus!"

What did the thunder say when it understood the joke?

I feel so enlightninged!

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a racist person and a racist skeleton?

They both are insulting, but the skeleton doesn't have any body to share racist jokes with!

What's the difference between a Pokemon Go player and a Facebook user??

Pokemon Go players are only wasting their own time )

Ya Jokes More Ya Jokes

Who ya gonna call?

GEORGE ZIMMERMAN

What do I owe ya?

asks the neutron. "For you No charge."