Toy Jokes

What does Santa say to the elves after they make the toys?

Leave my presents

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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Why do Santas elves take forever to finish making toys?

Because they are always a little behind

Where does the pirate shop for his kid for Christmas?

Toys Arrrrrrrrrrr Us

Why did the toy company stop donating toys to kids in Africa?

Because it's pretty depressing to have a Tamagotchi that'll out-live you.

What kind of cars do jedis drive?

A toy-

Where is a pirates favorite place to shop for toys?

Toys arrrrrr Us.

Why couldn't little Johnny get the toy he saw on TV?

His parents weren't 18 or older.

Why was the alligator sad?

It had a kiddie meal but didn't get a toy.

Why wouldn't the shrimp share his toys?

Because he is a little shellfish.

How many do I need to get an Xbox?

Sir, that's not how Toys for Tots works." "FALSE ADVERTISING!"

What can we do to make it even scarier?

Put a toy for babies on its tail. YES

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Where do black parents get gifts for their children?

At Toys We Is

What did Santa shout to his toys on Christmas Eve?

ELF NO. 2: Okay everyone sack time!!

What do you call an elf who lost all his toys?

Legolas

What did woody and buzz say to your mom?

Strange to see your toys have the same name as us."

Why did all the other toys throw RaggedyAnn out of the toy box?

She kept on sitting on Pinocchio's face yelling "Lie to me, lie to me!"

What do you call Santa without toys?

A lost Clause

What do you call a man with a spade on his head?

Doug Got a set of tweezers as the toy as well. Hours of fun right there.

What if I color on you?

What if I run a truck along your back Steal your toy Throw a ball Spit food at you - My toddler, wooing the dog

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Orlando Bloom Jokes More Orlando Bloom Jokes

Whats the best thing Orlando Bloom's ever been in?

Katy Perry

Why was Orlando Bloom sad when he realised he wasn't able to build small toy houses?

Because he was Legolas.

Tamagotchi Jokes More Tamagotchi Jokes

Why did the toy company stop donating toys to kids in Africa?

Because it's pretty depressing to have a Tamagotchi that'll out-live you.

What's Stephen Hawking's favorite pet?

tamagotchi

Pinocchio Face Jokes More Pinocchio Face Jokes

Why was Cinderella kicked out of Walt Disney World?

Because she sat on Pinocchio's face and told him to start telling lies.

What did Cinderella say when she sat on Pinocchio's face?

Tell me a lie. Tell me the truth. Tell me a lie. Tell me the truth. Tell me a lie...

Toy Box Jokes More Toy Box Jokes

Why was Barbie kicked out of the toy box?

because she kept sitting on pinocchio's face moaning, "lie to me!"

Why did raggedy Ann get kicked out of the toy box?

She kept sitting on Pinocchio's face screaming "LIE TO ME"!

Africa Jokes More Africa Jokes

Why do androids go to Africa to party?

Because Botswana have fun.

Where did you get it?

Africa" Says the parrot.

Throw Jokes More Throw Jokes

What light through yonder window breaks?

ME:Well if you'd just sod off like I asked, I wouldn't have to throw lamps at you.

What do a thug and hillbilly have in common?

They both like to throw a hoedown.

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

What do mother's who boycott pharmacy drugs and kids who stop playing valve's fps' have in common?

They are both over the counter strike

Why would my wife ask if I was wearing this shirt when it's already on?

Stop talking in secret code.

Arrrrrrrrrrr Jokes More Arrrrrrrrrrr Jokes

Why are pirates so mean?

They just ARRRRRRRRRRR!!!

Where does the pirate shop for his kid for Christmas?

Toys Arrrrrrrrrrr Us