Attack Jokes

Why do girls go to the bathroom in groups?

Hermione went alone and was attacked by a troll

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What do you do if a gang of clowns attack you?

Go for the juggler.

What do you do when a bird attacks you?

Duck.

What did the clam say when a crab attacked him?

Kelp!

Why does England always get attacked in the summer?

Because the Knights are shorter then.

What do Australian terrorists say before attacking?

Uluruakbar

Why US didn't attack India, after twin-tower incident, looking for terrorists ?

Because it didn't happen in 7/11

What's the first thing you do when attacked by a gang of clowns?

Go straight for the juggler.

What do you call a soldier that got attacked by mustard gas and pepper spray??

A seasoned veteran

How do you stop clowns from attacking you?

Go for the juggler

What do you do if you're attacked by a bunch of Carnies?

Go for the Jugular (juggler)!

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What do you do when you're attacked by a group of clowns?

Go for the juggler

What happens when Bosnian terrorists start attacking municipal government buildings?

It Herzegovina

What do you call a group of rioters attacking a music store?

Luters

Why did the Mexican army attack the Alamo with only 2000 soldiers?

they only had one pickup

What do you do if you're attacked by a gang of clowns?

Go for the juggler.

What do you do when attacked by a group if clowns?

Go for the juggler.

Why was the Lego boxer unmatched in the ring?

He was a master of blocking attacks.

Who would you save first?

Wife asks her husband: Honey, If a lion attacks my mother and I, Who would you save first? Husband: Well, the lion!

How would you describe the woman who attacked you?

Describes mother* *Gets a copy of picture* *Gives it to mum as late birthday present*

What do you do if attacked by a clan of clowns?

Go for the juggler

Why won't alligators attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy

How did the obscene telephone caller get attacked by the Gorilla?

He made a mistake and dialled a preyer!

What is it called when a ship attacks their own navy?

Edit: Whoops wrong sub.

What do you call a person who had to be amputated after being attacked by an animal?

Claude

What would have happened if asians had committed the attacks of 9/11?

10/11 with rice, thanks for your suggestion

What if a third team came and attacked these two teams?

my daughter, not understanding football/making football more awesome

What do you call a hip-hop trio with boosted Attack but hindered Special Attack?

Naughty by Nature

How many gears does a French battle tank have?

Five. Four in reverse, and one in case the enemy is attacking from the rear.

What do you call a Frenchman that's been attacked by a bear?

Claude

What did the scientist who got attacked by sodium chloride say?

That's a salt!

What happens to someone who gets attacked by bees?

They get bee'd up

What did the scientist say after attacking his colleague with sodium chloride?

That's a salt!

What's 8 feet tall, covered in fur, and walks around the Himalayas undermining your arguments by attacking your character?

The Adhomineminal Snowman

What do you call a french man who's been attacked by a bear?

Claude

Why doesn't ISIS attack Israel?

Same reason children don't attack their parents...

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What is this world coming to?

Do their parents know they are outside, interacting, and getting exercise

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What's the difference between a laundry machine and a girl?

The washing machine doesn't get upset if I dump a load in it and never call back

How do you teach a girl math?

Subtract her clothes, divide her legs, give her a square root and watch her multiply.

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Why do tourists always take pictures in Paris?

Because the tower is an Eiffel.

What do you call hot women in France?

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What do a good joke and a child with cancer have in common?

They never get old.

Why do geologists have children with birth defects?

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Why did I need to bring a shovel on my first date?

Clearly the chloroform wasn't enough.

Who brings all the good little inclined plane girls and boys presents at Christmas?

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Why did the clown wear loud socks?

A: So his feet wouldn't fall asleep.

Why did the shark spit out the clown?

Because he tasted funny!