Log Jokes

What did Mr. Spock find in the toilet?

The Captains log

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What will you find in the toilet of a ship?

The captains log.

What's in the toilet of the Star Ship enterprise?

The captains log

How do trees access the internet?

They log on

What is something you can use to find the pH of tree sap?

A log!

How do you know you're not logged into reddit?

There are posts on the frontpage

Why are lumberjacks bad at online video games?

Because their connections are so weak they are always logging out.

How long have you been chopping wood for?

I'm not sure, I'll check the logs"

Why couldn't the lumberjack sign into Facebook?

Because he was logged out!

How does Santa Claus remember which chimneys he's been down?

He keeps a log

What does Imperator Furiosa like to click when she logs into a website?

REMEMBER ME!!!!!!!!!!

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What do you mean I can't change the past?

logs on to Wikipedia*

What do children think of the world?

I don't know, this is the first time I've logged onto Reddit, today.

Why do beavers spend a fortune on the Internet?

They never want to log off.

How did the tree get on to Reddit?

It just logged on...

What is it called when a hacker poops?

Logging out

Why did the girl put her bed in the fireplace?

Because she wanted to sleep like a log.

Why is DeadMau5 bad at math?

He drops the base when doing logs.

How does a tree access the internet?

It logs on.

What did the sausage say when it couldn't log on to the Internet?

If at first you don't succeed Fry Fry again

How do the trees get on the internet?

They log on.

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Access Jokes More Access Jokes

What's the difference between USB and USA?

One connects to all your devices and access your data, one connects to all your devices and access your data.

How many North Koreans does it take to change a light bulb?

One, only **Glorious Leader** gets access to light bulbs

Spock Jokes More Spock Jokes

Why didn't Spock do a mind meld with Frodo?

Because he figured that would be a bad hobbit to get in to.

What did Spock find in the Enterprise Bathroom?

The Captain's Log.

Split Jokes More Split Jokes

What do you call it when stoners split a check?

High finance.

What did Star Trek teach millions of kids?

To boldly split infinitives!

Smoke Jokes More Smoke Jokes

What do you call a dictionary that smokes weed?

High definition

Why was the young kangaroo thrown out by his mother?

For smoking in bed.

Return Jokes More Return Jokes

Why did Napoleon return from exile?

He needed more Elba room.

How do you know that a dog is a man's best friend?

Take your girl and your dog, and lock them in the back of a car, return in 5 hours, which one do you think will be happy to see you?

Check Jokes More Check Jokes

Why did the redditor stand on a piece of fruit to check his weight?

BECAUSE HE WAS USING A BANANA FOR SCALE

Why did Snoo not check out a library book?

Because he had already Reddit.

Sound Jokes More Sound Jokes

What sound does a pinewood derby car make when you rev it?

Wooooooden Woooooooden Woooooden!

What sound does a space turkey make?

Hubble, hubble, hubble shamelessly stolen joke from the Facebook page of "Grammarly"

Drown Mathematician Jokes More Drown Mathematician Jokes

What did the drowning mathematician say?

Logloglogloglog...

What sound is emitted by a drowning mathematician?

log log log log log log log log log...