Boil Jokes

How do you make holy water?

Boil the hell out of it.

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What do you call a cat that has boils on its skin and can't feel it's toes?

A leperd

What is the most annoying part of boiling vegetables?

Finding a pot big enough for the wheelchair.

How do you know when your vegetables are boiled?

Their wheelchair floats to the top.

Why are you not able to boil water in a tauntaun?

Because they're not real.

What was said the boiled waters funeral?

You will be mist.

What's the difference between a soldier and a sailor?

Ever tried dipping a sailor in a boiled egg?

What did the egg say when it was about to be hard boiled?

It's gonna take a while to get me hard, because I just got laid by a chick!

What do you get when you boil tree trunks with sugar?

Log jam.

Why was Easter the aardvark's favorite holiday?

Because he liked aard-boiled eggs!

What's an Irish Seven Course Dinner?

A boiled potato and a six-pack of Guinness Stout.

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Why was the cook sad when all the water in his pot boiled away?

Because he mist it.

What do they have for lunch at Monster School?

Human beans boiled legs pickled bunions and eyes-cream.

What do you call an English teacher five feet tall covered from head to toe in boils and totally bald?

Sir!

What do you get when you pour boiling hot water down a rabbit hole at Easter?

Hot Cross Bunnies!

What do you get if you boil funnybones?

A laughing stock.

What are you having?

First cannibal: Hard-boiled legs.

What on Earth happened?

The doctor said, surprised. "I don't know, it started with a boil on my arse." the frog said.

Why do Americans drink their tea cold?

Because it takes too long to boil Boston Harbor.

What's the difference between Frankenstein and boiled potatoes?

You can't mash Frankenstein.

What is hail ?

Hard boiled rain !

What is hail?

A: Hard-boiled rain.

Why do Mexicans hate cooking pasta?

When they boil the water, they always have to add that *pinche* salt.

If you boil a clown...

Do you get a laughing stock?

How do you make holy water?

You boil the hell out of it

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Potato Jokes More Potato Jokes

Why Latvian man did cross road?

Man have no chicken. All animals are die in famine. Man cross to look for potato. No potato.

What type of cow produces both milk and potatos?

Your Mother.

Skin Jokes More Skin Jokes

What's the difference between friends and potatoes?

Potatoes don't scream when you peel their skin and toss them in boiling water.

How do Canadians take care of their skin?

Maybe it's maple leaf.

Morning Jokes More Morning Jokes

I dropped a pear in my car this morning.

You should drop another one, then you would have a pair.

What do you call a rooster who wakes you up at the same time every morning ?

An alarm cluck !

Mist Jokes More Mist Jokes

What do you call Italian women in a sauna?

A: Gorillas In The Mist!

What did the fog say to the light rain after her vacation?

A. I mist you.

Boiling Water Jokes More Boiling Water Jokes

What do you get if you pour boiling water down a rabbit hole?

Hot cross bunnies Happy Easter

Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water?

He had a very esteemed colleague.

Dip Jokes More Dip Jokes

What does the Pope dip his chips in?

Holy Guacamole

Why were my balls wet?

cause i dipped em' in the wishing well! LOL

Hell Jokes More Hell Jokes

What is the hardest thing about breaking up with a Japanese girl?

You have to drop the bomb on her twice before she gets it. I'm going to hell..

What will Gene Wilder's last will and testament will say?

YOU GET NOTHING! Yeah I'm going to hell.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a pitbull and a social worker?

You might get your baby back off a pitbull.

What's the difference between Yogurt and L.A.?

Yogurt has a live and thriving culture.