Joke of the Day

Why do mathematicians have a hard time moving on in relationships?

Because they're always trying to find the x. They don't know y, either.

How do you know someone is from California?

They tell you.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

What do hobbits secretly call Gandalf when he drinks too much ?

The White Wizzer

What are those?

The waiter says "Some are suger, Summersalt"

Where's Jim?

He went M.I.A. *Cut to Jim* All I wanna do *bang bang bang bang* *reloading noise* And shoot enemies

Why couldn't the baby Jesus be born in Utah?

Because they couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin.

What do you call an easter extremist?

The middle easter bunny

Why'd you call me Aphrodite?

After the Greek goddess of love" Kid 2: What about me pop "You're named after a famous chipmunk Alvin"

Why could 8 see that 6 was afraid of 7?

Because 7 was mean. Get it?

What's a doctor's favorite bird?

An apothecanary

Why is English such a hard language to learn?

Because it's

What do you get if you have strep throat on Friday?

Saturday Night Fever.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
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Coffee Mug

What kind of money do religious businesses make?

Prophet.

How does Stan Collymore change a lightbulb?

A: He holds it in the air and the world revolves around him

Why did the Muslim CEO dislike the cartoon of Muhammad?

Because it wasn't prophet maximizing.

Why was the man sued by his horse?

For palomino-money!

What do you call a plant getting kidney surgery?

A transplant

What was the terrorist's pick up line?

hey babe, I've got a large pipe bomb and I never pre-maturely detonate."

What rhymes with left and means steal?

theft

How do you call blue cow?

Freak..

What do you call a panda who's legs don't work?

Pandapalegic

When is a lion not a lion ?

When he turns into his cage !

Why did the Greeks want Helen back so bad?

Are you kidding She was the most beautiful woman in the world! Can you imagine what her sons would of looked like

What subject did the Warlock major in at University?

Fel-osophy

How many Arians does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: None: Arians aren't afraid of the dark.

What does a 1337 pirate call his friends?

M80

How many ska kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to drop it and six to pick it up pick it up pick it up

Why do young girls go to the restroom in odd numbered groups?

Because they can't even.

Where is the Pokemon?

Peek-a-chu!

Why did the GameCube controller get off the boat?

Because he got a little c-stick.

What's fourteen inches and white?

Nothing.

What's the difference between a wealthy man wearing a tux and riding a bike and a hobo in torn jeans and shirt riding a unicycle?

Attire.

What's yellow and hurts when it gets in your eye?

Bull dozer

What is the primary job of an alligator?

make allegations

Which country's currency weighs as much as it's worth?

Australia. Because five $0.20 coins are about half a pound.

How did the pilot like his hotdog?

Plane.

What's the difference between a viola and a trampoline?

You take your shoes off before jumping on a trampoline.

What do you call it when a Sith goes to a Galleria?

Darth Mall.

Why was 10 hospitalized?

It was in the middle of 9 / 11.

What even is that?

United States: Lol, we made it up.

What is Popeye's favorite Led Zeppelin song?

Olive My Love

Stegosaurus Jokes More Stegosaurus Jokes

What do you call a stegosaurus with carrots in its ears?

Anything you want to - it can't here you!

What did one stegosaurus say to the other stegosaurus?

There's a sale on at the fern store!"

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

Why is it called Justice League of America?

Do they follow territorial boundaries? If the Kaos Kommandos start a brawl in El Paso and it rolls over into Juarez, do they say "screw it, let Justice League of Mexico handle it"? (Sorry if this isn't technically a joke; it was my shower thought this morning and I thought it was funny.)

Why did God invent women?

You think he's gonna wash the dishes

' Suh Good Jokes More ' Suh Good Jokes

How many 'suh goods' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

none its already lit sam hahahah ssoooohh

How many 'suh goods' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

none its already lit sam hahahah ssoooohh

Bola Jokes More Bola Jokes

When I was your age... When I was your age, before the Internet, there was none of this e-bola. We just had plain bola. And you know what?

We were thankful.

What did they call Ebola before the Internet?

Bola

Blender Foot Jokes More Blender Foot Jokes

Why do you put a baby into a blender feet-first?

So you can see the look on its face. How do you get said baby out of the blender? Tortilla chips.

Why would you put a baby in a blender feet first?

So you can make dinner and get head at the same time.

Tutu Jokes More Tutu Jokes

What do you call a bell wearing a tutu ?

A bellerina !

How do you make a tutu?

You put tu and tu together.

Hoodie Jokes More Hoodie Jokes

What does DMX say when he has trouble putting on a hoodie?

WHERE DA HOOD WHERE DA HOOD WHERE DA HOOD AT?

Which article of clothing is the most ghetto?

A Hoodie.

Celery Jokes More Celery Jokes

Why were all the other vegetables afraid of celery?

because celery stalks

What looks like celery, tastes like celery, but isnt celery?

Artificial celery