3 Year Old Jokes

Why do men carry condoms instead of women?

Because by the time women found a condom in their purses, kid would be 3 years old

This joke may have profanity.

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What colour is eight?

Purple (According to my 3 year old son)

Why did the 3 year old go to jail?

For resisting a rest.

What did I do in my 3-year-old?

I ate sand.

What's wrong ?

3-year-old: NOTHING! Phew! she's already a woman :-o

Why are you always tired, Dad?

my 3-year-old asked as she woke me from a nap by poking me in the eye.

What sound do dogs make?

3-year-old: Woof woof. Me: Horses 3: Neigh. Me: Pigs 3: Sizzle sizzle. Somebody understands bacon.

When I was 3 years old I looked at my nutsack and asked my Mom "Are these my brains?

Not yet," she replied

What does that cloud look like to you?

3-year-old: A cloud. Me: No, what do you imagine it could be 3-year-old: Rain.

What did you do at preschool?

3-year-old: We had to color inside the lines the WHOLE time. Me: 3-year-old: I need to lie down.

Why does the house only have one window?

Cheeseburger (joke from my 3 year old neice this evening)

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What did you get me for Mother's Day?

3-year-old: A cake. Wife: Where is it 3: You haven't made it yet.

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Sound Jokes More Sound Jokes

Why is there so much "twang" in Country music?

It is the sound a guitar makes after six or seven generations of inbreeding.

What's the sound that 10 stubby fingers make on a desk?

Drumpf Drumpf Drumpf Drumpf Drumpf...*

Nutsack Jokes More Nutsack Jokes

Where does Santa keep his nuts?

In his nutsack...

What's the difference between a burlap sack and my nutsack?

The babies in my nutsack are still living.

Accord Jokes More Accord Jokes

What do you get when you wreck a Honda Accord into a Saturn Ion?

An Accordion. ...I'll, uh, see myself out.

How Many Russians Does It Take To Invade Crimea?

None according to the Russians.

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What's the longest game in the world?

Two women playing pool.

What do you call a woman who marries an old ugly and poor man?

A: Stupid!

Rest Jokes More Rest Jokes

Why did the cops show up at the elementary school?

A 1st grader was resisting a rest.

Why didn't the rest of the fractions like "mc" very much?

Because he was generally known to be a square(ed).

Poke Jokes More Poke Jokes

What hangs at a man's thigh and wants to poke the hole that it's often poked before?

A key.

How do you get 50 Pikachus on a bus?

Poke 'em on.

Eye Jokes More Eye Jokes

What's red and silver and bumps in to walls?

A baby with forks in it's eyes.

What do you mean you can't sleep?

It's so easy I could do it with my eyes close! Me: *walks away*

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What did my wife say to me?

I want a divorce

How the fight started Wife : Going for a walk, do you want anything?

Me : How about a newspaper. Wife : OK, which one Me : Today's.