Acid Jokes

Why did the acid perform poorly?

Because it didn't concentrate.

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What do you call three brothers taking acid together?

Triplets

What happened to the hippy chemistry teacher when he spilled his chemicals?

He tripped on acid

Why don't you see many chemists with master's degrees working with acids and bases?

To really understand acids and bases, you need a pHd.

Why do people on acid listen to Dubstep?

Because if they didn't drop the base it would be a neutral reaction and they wouldn't feel the psychedelic effects.

Why do people take acid at raves?

Because there's so much base.

What do you get when you cross a hit of acid with a birth control pill?

A trip without the kids.

What happens when you take acid with a birth control pill?

A trip without the kids

What do you study to learn about acid?

A pHD

What career choice to hippies usually pick?

Chemistry, because there is lots of acid involved.

Whats another term for acid?

Its on the tip of my tongue...

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Why was the chemist not able to get very far in his study of acids?

He was only willing to consider the most basic of solutions.

What do you say to a burn victim if you pour acid on them?

Woops, tee hee.

Who's there ! Acid ! Acid who ?

Acidently on purpose !

What does a chemistry lesson and a night club have in common?

Someone drops the acid and someone drops the base.

Why can't acids argue well?

All their statements are baseless.

What does a chemist say when he's pouring water into an acid?

Drop the base.

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People Jokes More People Jokes

What did the cannibal say to his co-worker?

You should stop by later. The missus and I are having people for dinner.

Why do people keep a picture of their wife and kids in their wallet?

To remind them why there's no money in it

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

What do you get when you cross Groot with Santa?

A Giving Christmas Tree

What do you get if you cross King Kong with a watchdog?

A terrified postman.

Purpose Jokes More Purpose Jokes

When do you know that you are getting old?

When you have babies on purpose

What do you tell someone who feels that life has shorted them from a purpose or calling?

You belong.

Truth Jokes More Truth Jokes

Why did the lead acid battery have to tell the truth?

Because if it didn't it would be Li-ion.

Why aren't there any "old husband tales"?

There are. They just get re-branded as "logic" and "the truth".

Concentrate Jokes More Concentrate Jokes

Why did the acid perform poorly?

Because it didn't concentrate.

Why did the lady stare at the orange juice?

Because she thought it was telling her to concentrate!

Future Jokes More Future Jokes

What do you call gas from the human body that NASA could impliment into fuel for their technology in the future?

Rocket Farts.

Why do people say children are the future?

They are clearly the present. Old people are the future.

Trip Jokes More Trip Jokes

How was your trip to Israel?

This month they had Sukkot (the festival of tabernacles) It was pretty "in tents".

What do you get when you mix birth control and LSD?

A trip without kids.

Tum Jokes More Tum Jokes

What did the druggie do when he got acid?

Took some tums

What do you call Tums in suppository form?

Bums