Emo Jokes

Why don't you buy drugs from an Emo?

Their stuff is always cut.

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How do you get an emo out of a tree?

Untie the rope...

What falls faster from a tree, a leaf or an Emo?

The leaf, the Emo is too depressed to go outside. I saw this joke reposted so many times. I figured I'd mix it up a bit.

What falls faster from a tree? A leaf or an emo?

The leaf, the rope stops the emo.

What do you call a gangster who is really in touch with his emotions?

An emo-g

Why did the emo swallow an alarm clock?

So he could wake up inside.

Why do emo's always act so sour?

Because you can't spell Lemon without emo.

What do you call an emo a capella group?

Self Harmony Edit: #10 on /r/all! And thanks for the gold kind stranger!

Why did the lesbian cross the street?

She was emo.

Why are emo people so good at ping-pong?

Because they are well practiced in cutting.

What falls down faster from a tree, a leaf or an emo?

A leaf. The rope catches the emo.

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How do you cut a Emo sandwich?

Trick question, it cuts itself.

What do you call an emo on a hiking trip?

Cliffhanger.

What lands first?

The leaf, a rope stopped the emo.

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What's the difference between a pimple and a Catholic Priest?

A pimple waits until you're 13-years-old before coming on your face.

What do you call a 13 year old girl from Kentucky who can run faster than her six brothers?

A virgin

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What do you call 1000 soldiers with no legs?

An army.

What do you call 1000 emo kids at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start.

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Why did Vladimir fall off his bike?

He was rushin

Whats the difference between a baby and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window.

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How did Sherlock reply to Watson's inquiry, "Sherlock, where did you get all of these lemons?

A lemon tree, my dear Watson."

What do you give to a lemon in need?

Lemonaid.

Tree Jokes More Tree Jokes

What do Trees and Dogs have in common?

Bark.

What did the tree say when it messed up?

A: It was an oakcident.

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

What's the difference between a carpenter and a construction worker?

30 IQ points. This, as any carpenter will tell you, isn't a joke.

What do you call a fuzzy animal that grows on trees?

A root bear! (I came up with this joke a few minutes ago. I hope it's funny)

Mix Jokes More Mix Jokes

Whoa, what's with all the whisks?

Sir-Mix-a-Lot: Why you judgin me

What do you get when you mix castor oil with holy water?

A religious movement.

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What's the name of that German guy that keeps hiding my stuff around the house?

Alzheimer, Grandma.

What's the best moment of your life?

me: That time I won a stuffed dino- wife: That didn't involve a dinosaur me: Our wedding