Mar Jokes

What do you call a person who you had a one night stand with on Mars?

A solmate

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What did Mars say to Saturn?

Give me a ring sometime.

Why are there no cats on Mars?

Because there is no oxygen and they'd die from UV radiation, you idiot.

How did Mars feel when the colonists were approaching?

Terra-fied.

What was the first thing the stowaway to Mars said after he landed?

Just out of Curiosity...

What did the commander say when she realized that she had left Matt Damon on Mars?

I have left my Mark on Mars"

Who says there's no life on Mars?

Why only today they found a Beagle!

What's the smallest drink you can order at a bar?

A mar tiny.

What were the odds that Matt Damon made it off Mars?

Astronomical

What quality does Elon Musk look for in a woman?

He just wants her to be down to Mars

What do you call a David Bowie tribute band made up of astro-arachnologists?

The Spiders from Mars :(

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Why is there no life on Mars?

No WiFi...

Why can't deer get marred?

Because they can't elope

What on Earth did the NASA discover?

Nothing, it was on Mars

What do you a Mars with water?

Wars

Why has Venus been so distant lately?

Mars answers "shes been under a lot of pressure and has really bad gas"

Why was NASA so interested on travelling to Mars?

Because it had their Curiosity.

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What's brown and in a baby's diaper?

A: Michael Jackson's hand !!

Why did Michael Jackson not molest Macaulay Culkin?

He wasn't hot enough.

Fie Jokes More Fie Jokes

How did Mars feel when the colonists were approaching?

Terra-fied.

How did the Australian make the Olympics?

He koala-fied!!!!! Buh-duh-tss

Land Jokes More Land Jokes

What is a Nuclear Physicist's favorite Genesis song?

Land of Cold-Fusion".

What's the difference between CNN and Al Jazeera?

CNN shows the missiles taking off and Al Jazeera shows them landing.

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

Why did the leper chase the leopard?

Because she wanted the D. (I dreamed this joke last night. Not bad for a dream joke.)

Why does Shakira have such a hard time sleeping at night?

Because her hips won't lie.

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

How many Nickelback fans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Trick question! There's no such thing as Nickelback fans. (I will be hated by few)

What do you call a policeman with a thing for MLP?

A clop cop.

Alien Jokes More Alien Jokes

What do you call a Mexican fighting a priest?

Alien vs. Predator

Why do aliens only abduct white people?

Because they are easier to see in the dark.

Quality Jokes More Quality Jokes

What's do pot and pusssy have in common?

You can tell the quality if you can smell it across the room.

What quality does Elon Musk look for in a woman?

He just wants her to be down to Mars

Odd Jokes More Odd Jokes

Whats the odd one out ?

The man on the moon? Santa Claus? Or an honest Lawyer? Yes you got it Santa. The other two are figments of the imagination.

Which one is the odd one out; a Crab, a Tuna, a Chinese man run over by a bus or a Lobster?

A tuna, because the rest of them are crustaceans.