Alien Jokes

What did the alien say to Franz Schubert?

Take me to your lieder!"

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Why did the aliens choose to not invade and enslave the human race?

Because they're not garbage collectors.

What do you call a Mexican fighting a Catholic priest?

Alien vs. Predator

What did the bartender say to the alien?

You're drunk ET, go home!"

What do you call a Mexican fighting a priest?

Alien vs. Predator

What do you call a fight between a Mexican and Jared Fogle?

Alien vs Predator.

Why do aliens only abduct white people?

Because they are easier to see in the dark.

When is a Mexican not a Mexican?

When he's an alien! I'll see myself out now

What do you call a fight between a Mexican and a child molester?

Alien vs Predator

Why are farmers so afraid of aliens?

Tractor beams.

How did the aliens hurt the farmer?

They trod on his corn.

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What do you call a fight between a child molester and an illegal immigrant?

Alien versus Predator.

What do you get if you cross an alien and a hot drink ?

Gravi-tea !

What mustache can an alien not pull off?

A human chu

Why do aliens always disembark via ramp?

Do they have problems with stairs Or are flying saucers just handicap-accessible

What did the alien say when his flying saucer landed in a stud farm?

Take me to your breeder !

Why is it called "Alien vs Predator"?

Isn't predator an alien too They should've just called it "Some Aliens"

How did the alien tie his shoes?

With an astroknot.

What did the aliens say, when they came to earth in search of soda pop?

Take me to your liter!

What Do You Call A Fight Between An Illegal Immigrant And A Child Molester?

Alien vs. Predator

What do you say to an alien with two heads?

Hello. Hello.

What if aliens are responsible for global warming?

And this is just their way of breaking the ice.

What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with an alien?

A mars-upial

What do you call an alien in a swamp?

A MARSHian

What do you call an alien from Austria?

Austalian

How does an alien get back to his home planet?

ayy lmao

What is this alien looking thing in a wig trying to sing?

Oh wait thats Nicki Minaj. Why would an alien in a wig pick Nicki Minaj as a name

What do you get if you cross a student and an alien ?

Something from another universe -ity !

What about the aliens from space?

We need a ROOF!

How is November's election like the Alien vs Predator movie?

Whoever wins...we lose.

What do you call an alien with three balls?

E.T. the extra testicle.

What did the alien say to the gas pump ?

Don't you know its rude to stick your finger in your ear when I'm talking to you !

Why would an alien ever visit Roswell?

Fill in the blank or answer the question.

Why haven't we found aliens yet ?

because they are searching for intelligent life too.

How do aliens pay for their coffees?

With Starbucks!

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Invade Jokes More Invade Jokes

Why are Republicans so insistent on a war in the Middle East?

Because its good Christian values to invade the Middle East.

Why did the USA invade Panama?

Just 'Cause

Litter Jokes More Litter Jokes

Why is it called a "litter" of puppies ?

Because they mess up the whole house !

What do you call a litter of Corgi puppies?

A Corgisbord.

Human Jokes More Human Jokes

What did the banana say to the human?

Nothing you idiot, bananas don't talk!

How do industrial robots communicate with humans?

They use a conveyor belt.

Celebrate Jokes More Celebrate Jokes

Why does Marx support New Years Eve celebrations?

Well, it's got everyone out and about, celebrating another revolution..... (I'll show myself out)

How do Etheopians celebrate their first birthday?

By putting flowers on the grave

Choose Jokes More Choose Jokes

Why should've Christians chosen farts over bread?

It's more fun to break wind

What game do they choose?

They chose "Sorry!".

Klingon Jokes More Klingon Jokes

What is another term for ob gyn?

A Klingon! since obstetrician gynaecologist is too long, and OB GYN doesn't make sense ,lets call them Klingons

Why did Captain Kirk take such a long time in the washroom?

Because he was fighting the Klingons.

Wig Jokes More Wig Jokes

Why did the old man buy his wig at the thrift store?

Because he didn't want toupee.

How's your love life?

Well, I went on a date. 45 minutes in I realized it was a turtle in a wig. "I'm sorry man" it's ok. still got laid.

Sing Jokes More Sing Jokes

What song should you sing to a wildebeest on his birthday?

Happy Birthday To Gnu!"

What kind of church music do they sing in Finland?

FINNISH HYMN!