Milk Jokes

What's the difference between a cow and the Twin Towers?

You can't milk a cow for 15 years.

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What do you get if you cross a cow with an octopus ?

A cow that can milk itself !

What's the difference between Nine-Eleven and a cow?

You can't milk a cow for 14 years straight. Be gentle... it's my cake day :-)

What aisle has the milk?

Sir, this is a library." *whispers* "What aisle has the milk "

What kind of milk does Mitt Romney drink?

Where do Russians get their milk from?

From moscow

What type of milk is swiss cheese made of?

Whole milk.

What kind of scary bees can produce milk?

boo bees

What do you call a tired cow?

Milked out!

What's the easiest way to condense milk?

Mlk

What's the difference between a cow and the crucifixion?

You can't milk a cow for 2000 years

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Why cant people with no feet drink milk?

Because they are lack toes intolorent.

Why are there commercials for milk?

Who still doesn't know about milk

What gives milk and has a horn?

A milk tank!

What's the difference between cows and bulls?

It takes longer to milk the bull.

What's the difference between a cow and the Holocaust?

A cow can't be milked for 70 years.

What do you call a cow that can't moo?

A milk dud Credit to my 5 year old nephew

How do you get milk from a witch's cat?

Steal her saucer.

What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk ?

An udder failure !

What does America and my Milk have in common?

Both will go bad in 9 days.

What do you get from a forgetful cow?

Milk of amnesia!

Why did the cow drink his own milk?

He needed the cowlcium.

How can you tell when your drowning in milk?

When it gets pasteurise.

Why don't cows ever have any money?

Because the farmers milk them dry!

A grocery store cashier asked if I would like my milk in a bag.

I told her 'No, thanks. The carton works fine.'

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What has 3 arms, 1 hat, 2 shirts, 1 jacket, 1 scarf, 1 gun, and 4 ears?

The Tchernobyl cowboy.

What is a hurricane's favorite pet?

Anywhere from 1 to 5 cats

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Why is it called almond milk?

Nut juice" wasnt very popular.

Why is almond milk called almond milk?

Because nobody would drink it if it was called nut juice.

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Why is almond milk called almond milk?

Because nobody would drink it if it was called nut juice.

Why do they call it Almond Milk?

Because if they called it Nut Juice nobody would buy it.

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What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?

50 pounds.

What is the difference between a human dad and a moth dad?

Two letters.

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Why is almond milk called almond milk?

Because nobody would drink it if it was called nut juice.

What do you get when you cross peanuts and almonds?

Deez Nutz

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How do you know you're at a redneck wedding?

Everybody is sitting on the same side of the church

What's your heigth and position?

Pilot: Well I'm 6 foot tall and I'm sitting front left.

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What did the Mexican do when he arrived in America?

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Why does OP never deliver?

removed

Bernie Sanders Jokes More Bernie Sanders Jokes

What do you call wood-smoothing equipment that's hot to the touch?

Bernie Sanders

What did Bernie Sanders say when he found a dead body at a Democratic Party meeting to select candidates and decide policy?

Oh god, a caucus!" cuz he has a new england accent