Pervert Jokes

How did the two perverts break up?

I think we should see other peepholes."

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Why did Frosty drop his pants?

Because he's a pervert that likes showing people his snowballs.

What's four inches long and drives women crazy?

A 100 dollar bill you pervert!

What's long and hard when you first put in in your mouth, but soft and wrinkly when you take it out?

A piece of gum, you pervert!

What did the pervert get for Christmas?

A partial in a pear tree.

What is big and hard when you put it in your mouth and small and soft when you take it out?

A chewing gum you pervert

Why is the letter 'B' commonly regarded as a pervert in the alphabet?

Because he can see the D

How many perverts does it take to put in a light bulb?

Only one, but... It takes the entire ER department to get it back out.

What does a man often wake with, but can never go to sleep with?

An alarm, you pervert!

Where does the pervert keep the underwear he steals?

In his briefcase!

What's the best way to attract a pervert?

The NSFW tag, you freak

This joke may have profanity.

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What do a carjacker and pervert have in common?

They're always cracking in-ya-windows!

Why'd the pervert cross the road?

He couldn't pull out of the chicken

How many perverts does it take to insert a light bulb?

Only one; However, it takes an entire emergency ward to get it back out again.

What's the difference between a daydreamer and a pervert?

A daydreamer stares out of windows.

How many perverts does it take to put in a lightbulb?

One. But it takes the whole emergency room to remove it.

How do you know that Ash Ketchum is a pervert?

Because he always takes a Pik-at-chu

Why did the pervert buy 16.5 pints of salsa?

2 gals 1 cup(http://www.reddit.com/r/Canning/comments/yyhsp/my20triptothelocallatinmarketnetted165/)

Why did the pervert like to watch girls in their entrance hallways?

He was a foyer.

How many perverts does it take to change a lightbulb?

What do you call a doctor who is trained in neurosurgery and is covering for a gynecologist?

A pervert.

What is the difference between a lentil and a chickpea?

A pervert wouldn't pay $200 to have a lentil on his face.

How many perverts does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one. But it takes the whole ER to get it out.

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He enjoys the taste of Doctors Without Borders.

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What do books have that Mexicans don't?

Papers.

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They only had two vans

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What did the perverted sauce say to the Chinese Ribs?

I'm only Peking.

What do you call a water fowl looking in a window?

Peking duck. (it came to mind over dinner... I thought I would share the pain with everyone)

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What do you call a Chinese kid playing college football?

A wok on.

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Because it was raining cats and dogs. :D

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Why was there thunder and lightning in the lab?

The scientists were brainstorming.

What did the perverted scientist say to his colleague?

If you need me, I'll be in my Lab.

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What do you call a Muslim optometrist who has no regards for his patients?

Asif Eyecare

What did William Shakespeare say regarding atomic orbitals?

2p or not 2p, that is the question."

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What's the easiest way to get the chewing gum out of your hair?

Cancer

What is big and hard when you put it in your mouth and small and soft when you take it out?

A chewing gum you pervert

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Which part of a vegetable is the hardest to chew?

The wheelchair

How did the chewing gum cross the road?

A: By sticking to the chicken's foot.