Toast Jokes

What's the difference between Frenchmen and some toast?

You can make soldiers out of toast!

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What did Shakespeare spread on his toast?

Blue Sonnet

What do astronauts put on their toast?

Space Jam.

Why did the plane crash?

Because the pilot was a loaf of bread! Now he's toast

What do termites put on their toast?

Door jamb.

What does the Queen put on her toast?

Maamilade! Tada....... anyone? Anyone? I'll get my coat

What do neckbeards like to spread on their toast?

Marma'lady

What do you get if you put morphine on your toast?

Crumfortably Numb!

What did Jesus want when he appeared on a piece of toast?

Miracle whip.

How do you start a rave in Africa?

Glue a piece of toast to the ceiling

How do al-Qaeda like their toast?

Bean-laden

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How does Darth Vader like his toast?

On the dark side.

What if they found the face of Jesus in a piece of toast but it was *actually* Jesus?

This is my body, I'm nice with jam."

What kind of cheese?

Me: "American..." Her: "Want it toasted " Me: "I'll just make it myself."

What do you call a piece of toast on the ceiling?

An Ethiopian rave.

What s the difference between toilet paper and toast?

Toast is brown on both sides.

What happened at the cannibal's wedding party?

They toasted the bride and groom.

Why did the boy feel warm on his birthday?

Because people kept toasting him!

What do you call the outer edge of a piece of bread that has been toasted?

Crusty

What would Ed Sheeran taste like on a piece of toast?

gingerbread

How do you start a rave in Uganda ?

Glue a piece of toast to the ceiling

Did you hear about the bread factory burning down?

They say the business is toast.

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What's the difference between Botox and Borax?

Two letters.

What's the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman ?

One is a super hero and the other is a simple command.

Termite Jokes More Termite Jokes

What did the termite say to the chair?

What did the termite say to the chair? .... It was nice knawing you.

Where did Noah keep his termites?

In a plastic bag.

Burn Toast Jokes More Burn Toast Jokes

What's worse than 1 slice of burnt toast?

The holocaust.

What has a slice of burnt toast and a pregnant girlfriend got in common?

In both cases you wish you took it out a few seconds earlier.

Cereal Jokes More Cereal Jokes

What kind of cereal do zombies like?

Kellog's All Brain

What's my favorite pirate workout and cereal?

Captain Crunch

Soldier Jokes More Soldier Jokes

Why are soldiers always so tired on April 1st?

Because they have just finished a 31 day March.

What does it take for a soldier in uniform to pick up a girl?

a smile and wave!

Bread Jokes More Bread Jokes

What's the difference between gluten and hillbillies?

One's inbred, the others in bread

What do giants and strippers have in common?

They both grind on bones to make their bread.

Plane Crash Jokes More Plane Crash Jokes

Why did the identical twins survive the plane crash?

Because twins being destroyed by planes is too cliche, I guess.

What would you get if Geddy Lee, Neil Peart and Alex Lifeson all died in a plane crash?

Take your time, there's no Rush...

Pregnant Girlfriend Jokes More Pregnant Girlfriend Jokes

What has a slice of burnt toast and a pregnant girlfriend got in common?

In both cases you wish you took it out a few seconds earlier.

What's the difference between a light bulb and my pregnant girlfriend?

I can unscrew a lightbulb.