Bull Jokes

What do you call a guy who stands under a bull?

Understandabull

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What kind of farm has lots of books but no livestock?

Barns and no-bulls. (This joke was made up by my 7 year-old cousin.)

What do you call it when the bull impales the bullfighter?

A hole in Juan!

What happens when a bull and a horse go to a bar?

They get BUCKED up!

What did the farmer say when he found dynamite in one of his cows?

This is a bomb in a bull.

Why did the cow slap the bull?

He didn't play well with udders.

What do you call empathetic bovine?

understand bull

What do bulls do math with?

A cow-culator! (Cue groans)

What's the difference between a bull and a cow?

A bull smiles when you milk it.

What do you call a cow with one udder?

A bull.

How does a bull stay warm on a bitterly cold day?

A: He goes into the barn and slips into a nice warm Jersey.

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What does a bull do to stay warm on a cold day?

It goes into a barn and slips into a nice warm Jersey.

What do you call it when one bull spies on another bull?

A steak-out!

Who's there ! Bull ! Bull who ?

Bull the chain when your done !

What do bulls do for fun?

Play with others.

What's a moo hoo for a stuffed steer?

A full bull!

How does a bull stay warm on a bitterly cold day in January?

He goes into the barn and slips into a warm Jersey.

How do bulls drive their cars?

They steer them!

Why was the bull popular with all the cows?

Because he was smooooooooth

How do you stop a bull from charging?

Take away his credit card.

What should you do when a bull charges you?

Pay him

What do you call a matador who lost to the bull?

A mat'o'gore.

Why did the farmer fence in the bull?

The farmer had too much of a steak in him to let him go!

Where did the bull carry his stock-market report?

In his beef case!

What did the bull say to the green eyed cow?

I can't get pasteurize.

What would you do if a bull charged you?

Mary: I'd pay whatever it charged.

What's the difference between cows and bulls?

It takes longer to milk the bull.

What does a bull do on a bitter cold winter day?

A: He goes into the barn and slips inside a warm Jersey

What do you call a bull that's sent overseas by boat?

Shipped beef!

What do you call a bull that runs into a threshing machine?

Hamburger!

What's the difference between a bull and a Samsung Note 7?

I'm not scared when the bull charges

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A space bar.

How did the handyman feel after going to the bar?

He was hammered.

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What do you call a French bathroom with a bomb in it?

Linoleum Blownapart

What's the worst part about dumping a Japanese girl?

You gotta drop the bomb twice before she gets the message.

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Why did he cross back?

So he could charge the client for travel expenses.

Why was the Energizer Bunny in court?

Because it was charged with battery.

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What animal runs around happily with 5 legs?

A pit bull in a kindergarten

What has 5 legs and a big grin?

Pit-bull in kids sandpit

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What do you call a bike in NYC that has been standing out in the sun for hours?

Tire-less

Why didn't the paraplegic look in the mirror?

He couldn't stand to see himself like that.

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What does he say at baptism?

Another Juan

What does a Mexican Morpheus say?

Neo, you are the Juan ... I'll show myself the door...

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Whenever we keep the money in the bags our son steals it, I don't know what to do?

Husband : Keep it in his books. I know he will never touch them....

What did the book say to the librarian?

Can I take you out

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What's the difference between a race car and a woman?

One costs a lot of money to maintain, keep running, and give you the results you want. The other has four wheels.

What do you call an intersection where a lot of Asians cross?

A cross-wok.