Fear Jokes

How do you get over a fear of elevators?

Just take some steps to avoid them!

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Which 3 words will make a mexican tremble in fear ?

Round of 16

What's a redditors worst fear?

What's a blind mans worst fear ?

A prius

What do girls fear that's big, scary, and pink?

The Alaskan Bull Worm.

What did the policeman do to his fear of the dark?

He shot it.

What do you call a fear of chainsaws?

Logic.

What's white, black, and can smell fear?

deez nuts.

What one noun, verb, and US President sums up a scientist's hopes and fears?

Grant.

What Pablo Escobar And Other Narcos Fear Most?

LEGALIZATION

What do you call it when a person has a fear of Vietnamese food?

They have a Pho-bia!

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Why did the psych ward escapee never get married?

He had a fear of commitment

Why dont Demons fear oxidation?

Because there's no rust for the wicked

Why are a German vegetarians pessimists?

Because they always fear the wurst.

What do you call a fear of Alkaline?

A pH-obia

Why do Germans fear hotdogs with cheese?

Because for them, it is a Wurst-Kase scenario.

Why couldn't the Geordie go above the seventh floor in the tower block?

He had a fear of eights

How much wood can Chuck Norris if Chuck Norris could chuck wood?

Chuck Norris would just stare at the wood, and it would chuck itself out of fear.

What weapon is most feared by knights?

A can opener.

What's the similarity between pessimists and people with a phobia of sausages?

They both fear the wurst

Why don't nervous vegans visit Germany?

They fear the wurst!

What do you call a fear of deadly snakes?

Common sense.

Which day do chickens fear most?

Fryday.

Why did the Soviets pull their missiles out?

Because they feared a premature ejectulation

What's ur biggst fear?

Child1: Ghosts! Child2: Dogs! Child3: That humanity's core reaction to misunderstanding is anger

What's a vampire cows worst fear?

Steaks.

Who is the Sith Lord of fear?

Count Spooku

What day does the egg fear most?

Fry-day

What do you call the fear of chainsaws?

Common Sense. I'll show myself out...

What disease do horses fear most?

Hay Fever!

What do you call a fear of horned bovines?

Aurochnophobia.

Why cant a Mexican man sleep with three women at once?

Fear of over dos

Which disease do hobbits fear the most?

The Bilbonic plague.

What is snow?

No one would say: It's doubtful an Eskimo would have Chionophobia, a fear of this.

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Rust Jokes More Rust Jokes

How do you stop a metal from rusting?

Use some antioxidants

What did the BMW say to the Audi on the side of the road?

Rust-in-peace.

Avoid Jokes More Avoid Jokes

Why did the European businessman sleep on the streets?

To avoid a hostel takeover.

Why did the commuter want the carpool driver to take the bridge?

To avoid car-pool tunnel!

Oc Jokes More Oc Jokes

How do you tell if you're a real gangster?

Take a blud test OC

What did the Japanese buck say to the doe he was courting?

OC I don't know how to put this but...I'm kind of a big deer.

Shoot Jokes More Shoot Jokes

How do you stop a North Korean tank?

Shoot the guy driving the cardboard box.

How many Ricks from TWD does it take to change a light bulb?

Carl gets shot in the face.

Commitment Jokes More Commitment Jokes

What do ateists wear on their necks as an indication of their commitment to the atheism?

Head.

Why did Shrodinger's girlfriend dump him?

Because she didn't like his lack of commitment

Vietnamese Jokes More Vietnamese Jokes

What do you call a lineup at a Vietnamese restaurant?

A Pho queue

What do you call it when two Vietnamese people are together?

A Nguyen Nguyen situation.

Prius Jokes More Prius Jokes

Why is owning a Prius difficult?

It's hard to drive when you're patting yourself on the back all the time.

What's the difference between a porcupine and a Prius?

Porcupines have pricks on the outside

Blind Man Jokes More Blind Man Jokes

What did the blind man say when he walked by the fish market?

Good morning ladies.

What did Jesus say after he healed the blind man?

Made you look!