Ukraine Jokes

What song did Russia send Ukraine for its birthday?

Crimea a river

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What does Ukraine have in common with the iPhone 7?

They both suffered the loss of one very important port.

What is Russia's favorite imported product?

Ukraine.

How do you see countries neighboring Russia?

Ukraine your neck.

What did Putin say to the U.S. and E.U. after invading Ukraine?

Crimea river

Why can't you wear shorts in the Ukraine?

Chernobyl fallout...

What did Russia say to Ukraine after the conflict was over?

Cry me a peninsula.

What did Putin say to Ukraine after invading?

Crimea River.

What did Vladimir Putin say to the Ukraine after he annexed it?

Crimean river.

What did Russia say to Ukraine?

Crimea River

Why didn't Ukraine go to war with Russia yet?

They were Putin up with him.

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What did Putin say when the world got mad at him for invading the Ukraine?

Cri-me-a river!"

Why are people leaving the Ukraine?

I don't know but they sure are Russian.

What's the #1 song in Ukraine?

Crimea River

Why should you not visit the Ukraine with your fly unzipped?

Because if you don't, Chernobyl fall out!

Where does Justin Timberlake go swimming when he's in the Ukraine?

The Crimea River

Why shouldn't you buy underwear made in the Ukraine?

Because Chernobyl fallout.

Why Won't Anyone Tell me the Name of Ukraine's 5th Largest City?

They keep telling me to stop asking...

How do the Russians invade the Ukraine?

They rush in.

Why shouldn't you buy trousers from northern Ukraine?

Chernobyl fallout

Why should you always wear underwear in Ukraine?

Otherwise Chernobyl Fallout.

Why shouldn't you buy underwear from the Ukraine?

Chernobyl fall out.

Why shouldn't you wear loose fitting shorts when visiting Ukraine?

Because Chernobyl fallout

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What is Justin Timberlake's favorite river in Russia?

Crimea River

What was Justin Timberlake called when he was a kid?

Justin Timberpuddle!

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Where is the most conflict in a loaf of bread?

The middle yeast

What did Russia say to Ukraine after the conflict was over?

Cry me a peninsula.

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What's the current number one song in Russia?

Crimea river

Why are people so sore about Russia taking the Crimea?

I mean cry me a river river right

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Why does Saudi Arabia import so many camels from Australia?

They've got to get their 72 virgins

Why doesn't Russia import water buffalo?

Because they already have Moscow.

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Why is Rose sad?

Because there is no Jack in iPhone 7.

What does Ukraine have in common with the iPhone 7?

They both suffered the loss of one very important port.

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Which country has the most crying people per km?

The Soviet Onion

Which country has the most number of bacteria, viruses, fungus and other micro-organisms?

GerMany

Chernobyl Jokes More Chernobyl Jokes

What has 4 legs but cant move?

A child born in Chernobyl, duh.

Why shouldn't you wear loose fitting shorts when visiting Ukraine?

Because Chernobyl fallout

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What's the name of the Russian Bee Gees cover band?

KGBGs

Where do Russians get their milk from?

From moscow