Attract Jokes

Why are TV's attracted to people?

Because we turn them on. / /

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How can you attract a group of like minded friends?

This clique bait will shock you!

What are peas attracted to?

Chickpeas

Why was the monkey attracted to the paint?

Cuz it was yellow and appealing! Sorry if this is bad. Seen too many of the same jokes here and I wanted to add an original joke.

What do Canadian women put behind their ears to attract men?

Their ankles!

Why was Betty Boop never attracted to Mickey Mouse?

She's only attracted to colored guys.

Why do people buy smart cars?

Because opposites attract.

Why do people love their smartphones so much?

Because opposites attract. (Told to me by 2 students today, loved it!)

What's the best way to attract a pervert?

The NSFW tag, you freak

This joke may have profanity.

Why did the polish person marry someone from the other side of the country?

Because opposite poles attract

Why were the Persians attracted to the Anatolian Greeks?

Because they were Ionic.

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What did the one electron say to the other when it asked it out on a date?

Get outta here, I'm not attracted to you!

Why do men like smart women?

A. Opposites attract.

What attracted you to our company?

Well, I heard you pay money in exchange for work

Where's my Spiderman costume?

I want to wear it to the science museum "In your closet, why " 9: DUH. To attract radioactive spiders!

Why were all the ladies attracted to Jesus?

Because he was hung like this. (Hold your arms out wide)

Why are all the ladies attracted to Voldemort?

Because of his hex appeal.

Why do all black people go to heaven?

The Son is attracted to black

How did the Royal Navy attract so many recruits?

They were impressive!

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Shock Jokes More Shock Jokes

Why do you wanna work at Clickbait Enterprises?

Here's 10 reasons why I should get the job "ok" Number 7 will shock you "You're hired"

How many clickbait articles does it take to change a lightbulb?

The answer may shock you.

Monkey Jokes More Monkey Jokes

What if animals "were" injured in the making of a film. Do they list that in the credits?

Tim hurt one monkey. He is very sorry.

What do monkeys and humans have in common?

Catholic: Nothing............ nothing at all.

Reject Jokes More Reject Jokes

Why did the girl reject the landfill owner?

His place is a dump

Where did the pirate go to college?

Yale. He was rejected from H**arrrr**vard.

People Jokes More People Jokes

How much money does the Government pay people with autistic disorder?

Enough to buy a computer that can play League of Legends.

What do you call people so good at their jobs, they retire because they did everything?

The mythbusters and ghostbusters.

Canadian Jokes More Canadian Jokes

What do you call a Canadian pimp?

Jose (hoes eh?)

How do you get 30 drunk Canadians out of the pool?

Please Get Out The Pool"

Hit Jokes More Hit Jokes

What happened to the tree when the lumber jack hit on it?

It got all sappy

Why don't girls like playing dodgeball?

Because we don't like getting hit by balls. 12: *giggles for 5 minutes* You are so my child

Wheel Chair Jokes More Wheel Chair Jokes

What do you call an attractive person in a wheel chair?

Hot wheels.

What is the softest part of a wheel chair?

The vegtable sitting in it

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

What's the tallest building in the world?

A library, because there are so many stories. (Did Not Make Up this Joke)

What sounds like a joke, but isn't funny?

an anti-joke.