Belt Jokes

What did the obese man say about the belt he'd recently purchased?

Top notch.

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What does a belt like to do?

Getting Waisted

What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time...

How do you tell if someone is a safety engineer?

They are wearing suspenders and a belt.

Why did the belt get locked up?

A: He held up a pair of pants.

What's the difference between an Irish Catholic and a Roman Catholic?

A few notches on the belt buckle.

Why did the belt get arrested?

Because it held up a pair of pants. I'll show myself out.

What does the zero say to the eight?

I like your belt. Ok, ok. I know it's elementary, but I still love it.

What did the hat say to the belt?

You hang around I'll go on ahead

What did Whitney Houston's coroner say as he unbuckled his belt?

It's not right, but it's OK

Why shouldn't you wear a watch on your belt?

It'd be a waste of time.

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Why is your voice gone?

Are you ok Me:*thinks back to me belting out Ariana Grande's "Dangerous Woman"* I'm ok...allergies are bad.

What are the three biggest lies an Oklahoma State fan tells?

I WON this belt buckle, I OWN that truck, and I swear to God I was just helping that sheep over the fence.

Why is wrestling stupid?

It's a bunch of guy's without pants fighting for a belt....

What did 0 say to 8?

Why's your belt so tight bruh

What do you call a belt with a watch on it?

A waist of time *door closes on way out*

What did the number zero say to the number 8?

I like your belt

How can you tell who is a blonde's boyfriend?

A: He's the one with the belt buckle that matches the impression in her forehead.

Why, Bro?

B1: Men with no pants... Fighting for a belt... WTF

Why bro?

Men with no pants fighting for a belt.. WTF

What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time.

Why did the belt go to prison?

He held up a pair of pants!

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Why is Instagram not working?

but "Why does the world need another picture of you " #instagramnotworking

How do you ask someone if they're Vegan?

You don't need to, they'll tell you

Pant Jokes More Pant Jokes

What's the difference between Cottage Cheese and Cream Cheese?

I didn't cottage in my pants

Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants?

In case they get a hole in one!

Paper Jokes More Paper Jokes

What do you get if you cross a labrador and a tortoise ?

A dog that will run to the shop to get your paper and bring back last weeks paper !

Why did the researcher take his paper to the harbour?

To get it pier reviewed.

Hat Jokes More Hat Jokes

What did one hat say to the other hat?

You wait here, I'm going to go on a head.

What did the hat say to the coat stand?

You stay here, I'll go on a head.

Pair Jokes More Pair Jokes

Why do nuns always travel in pairs?

Because one nun follows the other nun to make sure that nun doesn't get none.

What do you call a duck traveling south that enters a time warp and meets itself traveling north?

A pair of ducks.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do you know that Hogwarts is feminist friendly?

The entrance is a dumbledore.

How do you know when a woman is pregnant?

She switches from Ragu to Prego.

Number Jokes More Number Jokes

How do you make the number one disappear?

Add the letter G and it’s “gone”!

What does a guy who can predict the lottery numbers 99% of the time have in common with the letters C, D, G, H, J, K, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, and Z?

They're not infallible

8 Jokes More 8 Jokes

Why could 8 see that 6 was afraid of 7?

Because 7 was mean. Get it?

Why did the orange go to the doctor?

Because she wasn't peeling very well... All credit to my 8 yo son who suggested I post it here