Catholic Priest Jokes

Why did the Catholic Priest cross the road?

To get to the school yard.

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What do Catholic priests and the Zika Virus have in common?

They both give kids a little head.

What do you call a Mexican fighting a Catholic priest?

Alien vs. Predator

What do r/jokes subscribers and Catholic priests have in common?

Both think the shorter the better.

How many wife's does a catholic priest allowed to have?

Nun

What do 0/10 little boys enjoy?

Catholic priests

Which do Catholic priests like betterapples or cherries?

Neitherthey prefer boysenberries.

Why are catholic priests so Eco-friendly?

Zero emissions.

How many Catholic priests does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, because little boys don't fit in a lightbulb.

What's the difference between a pimple and a Catholic Priest?

A pimple waits until you're 13-years-old before coming on your face.

What does a Catholic priest and a silver medalist have in common?

They both came in a little behind.

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How did the Catholic Priest finish the marathon?

He was second to Nun.

Why don't catholic priest believe in condoms?

Because little boys can't get pregnant.

What do a Catholic Priest and second place have in common?

They both came in a little behind.

What do the Zika virus and Catholic priests have in common?

They both give kids a little head.

What's the difference between a coal mining company and catholic priests?

A coal mining company puts miners in shafts.

What do pimples and catholic priests have in common?

They both start coming on boys' faces around age 13.

What's the difference between Woody from Toy Story, and a Catholic priest?

One goes limp when a child walks in the room.

What's the difference between a Chilean mining company and a Catholic priest?

One gets their miners stuck in a shaft, and the other gets his shaft stuck in a minor.

What do you get when a Catholic priest baptizes hay?

You get a Christian Bale

Why would a Catholic priest start practicing at a prison?

He ran out of little boys

How are Chile mining companies and catholic priests different?

Chile mining companies get their minors stuck in shafts while catholic priests get their shafts stuck in minors

Why shouldn't we talk about Catholic Priests?

It's a touchy subject.

What's the difference between a Catholic Priest... ... and an e-cigarette-puffing GI Joe Action Figure collector?

Well, one is a toy-loving vapist...

How many Catholic priests does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, because little boys don't fit in a lightbulb.

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How many midgets does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

I'd be surprised if you could fit two in there

Why is it called Justice League of America?

Do they follow territorial boundaries? If the Kaos Kommandos start a brawl in El Paso and it rolls over into Juarez, do they say "screw it, let Justice League of Mexico handle it"? (Sorry if this isn't technically a joke; it was my shower thought this morning and I thought it was funny.)

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How do you fit 20 Cubans in a shoebox?

How do you fit 20 Cubans in a shoebox? Tell them it floats!

What other US state can fit Kansas inside of it?

Arkansas

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What's going on?

Me: The kids gave me this *holds up Dad Is #1 mug* W: That's sweet H: Sweet They think I'm pee!

What is the difference between an elevator and black people?

And elevator can raise kids

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How are Chile mining companies and catholic priests different?

Chile mining companies get their minors stuck in shafts while catholic priests get their shafts stuck in minors

How do you end world hunger?

Put Turkey in Greece to cook it, then cut it up and put it into Chile. Then put it on China and give it to Hungary.

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What do 0/10 little boys enjoy?

Catholic priests

Why can't Intel-based phones enjoy Pokmon Go?

Because Intel Inside.

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Why are catholic priests so Eco-friendly?

Zero emissions.

Why are terrorists eco-friendly?

They're biodegradable.

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What is the difference between ovaries and testicles?

There is a vas diference

What does every Tickle Me Elmo receive before it leaves the factory?

Two testicles.

Cherry Jokes More Cherry Jokes

Why is Easter like whipped cream and a cherry?

Because it's always on a sundae!

Which do Catholic priests like betterapples or cherries?

Neitherthey prefer boysenberries.