Chinese Jokes

What do you call a Chinese millionare?

Ching-Ching.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
5.0

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Why don't Chinese people roll 12lb balls down wooden lanes to knock over pins?

Because to them it's boring.

What do you call 3 Puerto Ricans, 1 Chinese Man, and 4 black guys?

A water sprinkler.

What would you get if you crossed the Easter Bunny with Chinese food?

Hop suey!

What did the Chinese cowboy say?

Nii haw!

How do you make the best Americanized Chinese food?

Like Tso.

How many of you believe in psychokinesis?

Raise my hand. - Taken from local Chinese joint fortune cookie.

How much does a Chinese dumpling weigh?

It weighs *Won-ton*

What would happen if all Chinese people jumped off a chair, all at the same time?

I don't know either, but you would need a reeeally big chair!

What do you call a dirty Chinese crab?

A crusty asian

How do the Chinese vote?

With their erections.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
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Coffee Mug

Why don't the Chinese have casinos?

Because they don't like Tibet

Why did the Chinese chicken cross the road?

The eggrolled

Why do Asian people never seem to age?

I met a chinese girl today & I estimate her age to be somewhere between 4 & 197.

What do chinese people do when they have an erection?

they vote

What does a Chinese bear fry eggs in?

A pan, duh!

How do you know if a Chinese man has robbed your house?

Your homework is done, your computer is upgraded, and two hours later, he's still trying to back out of your driveway.

Why do Chinese workers work so hard?

Because their companies are always short-staffed.

Why do Chinese people love NY?

Because they heard we sell hotdogs for $0.75 each.

How many Chinese workers does it take to make a Smartphone?

I dunno. Ask the kids.

What do you call a Chinese man with a bad internet connection?

Hi Ping

What do you call a chinese Jehovah's witness?

Ding Dong

What is Captain Picard's favorite Chinese takeout ?

Make it Tso!

What do you call a chinese poker face?

A mahjong face

How does the average Chinese worker find a new job?

ChinkedIn.

How heavy is a Chinese dumpling?

Wonton.

What do Asians meeting up at their favorite Chinese take-out say?

Where my dogs at "

What does Korean food taste like?

Chinese food.

What do you call a Chinese man with a bad sense of direction?

Wong Wei

Where do Chinese people find work?

On ChinkedIn of course. (I know the pun is racist but I had to share. Sorry.)

What do you call a Chinese orange?

A Mandarin

How does a Chinese family name their children?

They throw 3-9 pots and pans down a flight of stairs.

What sound does a Chinese doorbell make?

Ching Chong

What do you call a fake Chinese iPhone?

A slanted-iPhone

What's a let down Chinese lobster called?

A crushed asian

Why cant you make fun of Chinese people?

Because its just wong

What does a Chinese restaurant serve for Easter?

Coloured eggrolls!

What do you get when you cross and Chinese and a Mexican man?

A: A car thief who can't drive!

Why couldn't the Chinese geologist find a date?

He was vehemently opposed to wrong rocks on the beach.

What did the Chinese man say when he found out his mother died?

I can't bereave it!

Why didn't King Kong go to Hong Kong?

He didn't like Chinese food.

Where do Chinese people live?

Chinatown

What did the Chinese man say when ophthalmologist told him he had a cataract?

No, I have a Rincoln Continental!*

How does a Chinese cat say hello?

Mi Hao.

Why do Chinese warriors die so easily in battle?

No matter how much protective garments they wear, there's still a chink in the armor.

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Halo Jokes More Halo Jokes

Why didn't Bungie stick with Halo?

Because it wasn't their Destiny.

What did one angel say to the other?

Halo."

Food Jokes More Food Jokes

What did Shrek say when the waiter dropped off his food at the German Restaurant?

Donkey!" (Danke) You gotta say it with the shrek accent to work.

How Much Food did Soviet Ukraine Need in the Early 1930s?

A whole-lot-more

Wing Wing Jokes More Wing Wing Jokes

What has two wings and a halo?

A Chinese phone. Wing wing, hallo?

What has TWO wings, and ONE arrow?

A Chinese telephone. Wing wing. Arrow?

Price Jokes More Price Jokes

What's the difference between a woman and a man?

A woman will buy something on sale even if she doesn't need it. A man will buy something he needs at full price. Then, what is the difference between a black woman and a black man? The black woman will steal something she doesn't need. The black man goes to jail because you can't hide diapers under a shirt.

What did they say to the CEO who raise minimum wage to $70,000?

Price is right!

Recipe Jokes More Recipe Jokes

Why couldn't the blonde make icecubes?

because she lost the recipe.

How do Italian Chefs swap recipes?

By Spaghett-e-mail!

Mexican Jokes More Mexican Jokes

What do you call a Mexican garden hose in Canada?

Joseh

What did the Mexican family get for Christmas?

Deported

Failure Jokes More Failure Jokes

What do you call a dead asian?

A failure

How can you tell the pig is a failure as Easter bunny?

By the egg on its face.

Animal Jokes More Animal Jokes

What's the difference between a zoo in Louisiana and a zoo anywhere else?

In Louisiana, next to the plaque with the animal's name, they've got a good recipe.

What if animals "were" injured in the making of a film. Do they list that in the credits?

Tim hurt one monkey. He is very sorry.