Crush Jokes

Why can't the hydraulic press guy bring himself to crush a can of sprite?

Because it's soda pressing

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What is it called when your crush has a crush on you too?

Imagination.

What does a 16 year old girl say in West Virginia?

Get off me daddy, you're crushing my smokes

What is that thing called when your crush likes you back?

Imagination.

What does a girl from Arkansas say when she loses her virginity?

Get off me paw, you're crushing my smokes."

What do you call a phallic music scale, crushed under a piano?

D-flat

What do a Chinese tourist who got run over by a bus and a lobster have in common?

They're both crushed-asians

What does a 12 year old redneck girl say when she loses her virginity?

Get off me dad, you're crushing my smokes!

What did the farmer's daughter say when she lost her virginity?

Get off me dad you're crushing my smokes! Or "That'll do pig, that'll do." I have heard it both ways.

Why did Dr.Pepper blush?

He received a Sunkist from his Crush

What did the farmers daughter say when she lost her virginity?

Get off me dad your crushing my smokes!

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What's that thing called when your crush likes you back?

Oh yeah. Imagination.

What did the redneck say when she lost her virginity?

GET OFF ME DAD, you're crushing my cigarettes!

What did the Alabama woman say when she lost her virginity?

Dad you're crushing my cigarettes.

What do u say?

SON: I WILL CRUSH MY ENEMIES ME: *nervous laughter* No, the other thing SON: Oh. Thank you

Why are you crying?

me: You just crushed all the Oreo's in my fanny pack

What's the first thing a hillbilly says after losing her virginity?

Get off me Daddy, you're crushing my cigarettes.

Why did the two boa constrictors get married ?

Because they had a crush on each other !sna

How do you get over a crush you've had since high school?

Leave the dungeon door unlocked.

What do you call a soda in love?

A Crush

What does a girl from Arkansas say just before she loses her virginity?

Careful, dad, or you'll crush my smokes."

How is everything?

ME: Soul crushing and void of meaning W: I meant your meal M: Soul crushing, void of meaning, and needs salt

What does a 14 year-old Native American girl say when she loses her virginity?

Stop Dad, you're crushing me smokes!

What do you call an angry white elephant that likes crushing donkeys and darker elephants?

Donald Trunk.

What's the difference between an iceberg and a clothes brush?

One crushes boats and the other brushes coats!

Why is a lobster similar to a Asian under a steamroller?

They are both crushed-asians

Why did the girl walk past her crush twice?

He didn't believe in love at first sight.

What's a racist photographer's favorite hobby?

Crushing the blacks.

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12 Year Old Jokes More 12 Year Old Jokes

What do you call a 12 year old protein?

A pretein

Why can't Bernie Sanders win the election?

Because 12 year olds can't vote. Edit: I'm actually somewhat of a Bernie supporter, I'm just joking about how he has a lot of youth backing him.

Steamroller Jokes More Steamroller Jokes

What do you call The Dynamic Duo after they got hit by a steamroller?

Flatman and Ribbon

What did the tin man say after he was ran over by a steamroller?

Curses! Foil again!"

Girl Jokes More Girl Jokes

Why do girls wear perfume and makeup?

Because they're ugly and they smell bad

Why did the girl bring 2 basketballs to the basketball game?

Because there was 2 basketball courts. DUH!

Chinese Jokes More Chinese Jokes

What is goingon?

Nothing much, just hungry for some Chinese food"

What do you call a Chinese pilot?

A pilot you racist!

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?

You can tune a guitar but you can't tuna fish.

What's the difference between a hippie and a geologist?

Not much. One likes getting stones, the other likes getting stoned.

Piano Jokes More Piano Jokes

What do you get if King Kong sits on your piano?

A flat note.

Why can't Thor play the piano or hide n seek with his brother?

He can never find the Loki.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did the cowboy get a miniature dachshund?

He wanted to get a long little doggy.

Which whiskey should you buy if you want to dance all night?

Wild Twerky!

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

What did the evil tin man say when he was run over by a steamroller?

Curses! Foil again!

Why couldn't the auction house find any buyers for the Celtic artifact?

It was completely runed.